Trailer Trash Redneck Jokes And Politics

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I
take her someplace  expensive….so, I took her to a gas station…..
and then the fight started….

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller
Light for $14.95  Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would  make her look better at night than the cold cream……And that’s when the fight started.

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office
to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for
my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I
had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I
would have to go home and come back later The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, ‘That   silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she
processed my Security  Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too’
And then the fight started…..

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high
school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?”Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I
hear she hasn’t been sober since. ‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
And then the fight started…..

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just  seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. he was a
DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and
shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well,then which one are you?’
And that’s how the fight started…..

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for
some reason, took my order first ‘I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.’ He said, ‘Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?’ ‘Nah, she can order for herself.’
And that’s how the fight started…..