If you want to stimulate the economy you have to start from the bottom not the top like the magical Obama done.

Additionally whenever money changes hand at the low level the govt makes thier taxes.If i buy a bigscreen for 1000 and the corps are heavily taxed the govt just made a couple hundred..same way with a burger and fries…they in turn use that money for more supplies which you guess are also paying tax….When I buy a hambuger for a Dollar,some of that money goes to property tax.. some goes to their tax at the end of the year
So a quarter the govt gets right then basically.
Now they also pay for the beef  ..lets say 50 cents…a few cents goes to the of that 50 goes to the taxes the beef producer has to pay.
This holds true for every aspect during freighting or exchanged hands.
2 bucks a mile for trucking lots of fuel which is taxed…and the profits from the fuel are taxed ..the trucking companys taxes…how about a few thousand for taxes on the truck itself.You get the picture this why your 49cent hambuger is a buck….which leaves you less money to buy more stuff.Since you able to buy less stuff the govt has to increase the taxes on the stuff you buy..which in turn make it less affordable to buy more stuff..the taxes go up again…see the picture.

Why does the govt need so much money? Every agnecy has a budget..lets start with 100,000 for a year with an agency we will call agency x. Now agency x has a new building it doesnt need any repairs all is good…but agency x has to spend this 100,000 bucks or they dont get it and they wont get the same 100,000 next year because they shown they need a budget of 16,000 bucks.How do they spend the extra 86,000 bucks.anyway they can..thats right..but not what is really needed..and why not?…because next year you ask for you 100,000 budget and an additional 20,000 for parking lot repairs.
This is why we have 12 dollar pens and 87 dollar plastic chairs and 2 million dollar toilets.Its the easiest to spend the money that way.
They key is never spend  it on what is actually needed as a report can be shown that addition money is need because….blah blah is aging.
The budget they have does not to be the same every year…this would save massive amounts,rather than forcing them to spend it it needs to roll over into the next year…after a few years when the roof is leaking the carpet is worn etc etc…the money can be used from the prior years it wasnt needed.The govt is very wasteful this way due to thier annual budget method.This is the area that needs to be modified. The budget needs to be like sprint minutes to rollover  versus us cellular use it or lose it.

We pay for all this waste with increased taxes…wich makes that burger higher..which makes it less affordable..wich makes sales go down so the govt taxes more to get the tax ,,which makes the burger go up which makes sales go down…………………..
In the last 15 years there has been so much govt expansion is is crazy
there is an agency for everything….well that makes taxes go up which raises the burger which makes sale go down which makes the tax higher so the govt can get their tax which raises the burger….which makes sales go down….the poor many cant buy any junk ..junk sales go down..job are lost govt loses taxes..govt raises taxes to maintain all the agency’s..makes buger higher.Sales are down.

The US tax system is very complex..but yet very simple…its called tax everything…not alot mind you…but in the end the end consumer pays for all the taxes..of everybody in the chain…leaving him with less money to buy stuff.
You lose 7 and half percent to social security..you employer matches that….if the govt didnt tax the employer 7 and a half you could get that as a wage…so just consider it a wage…so the gov gets 15 percent of your wage in ss alone.Now add the other 25 percent you lose in federal state and Medicaid or Medicare insurance which is deducted.Thats 40 percent…still with me?…well your wages could have been more except the company you are working for is getting shafted the same way..in effect causing you to get some of the shaft.

Now lets go spend that half of the money they let us keep.
lets say you have an apt..you pay rent…you guessed it it is 30 percent of that goes to taxes the property owner has to pay property taxes and taxes on his profit…yepper you paid for that….but wiat you paid more thn that actually..how?….remember why the 49 cent hamburger is a buck?
Thats is why the million dollar building is 2 million bucks…doubling your rent.
Go to the store get your food..same thing.
how bout gas its worse….not only are you paying the huge gas tax…25 percent of that total also hits the goverment pocket after the oil companies get it..so in effect it was half tax…but wait…more than that…you have to pay for all the taxes associated with the production of the gas..from the trucker to the people who made the drilling equipment….wow no wonder its high..wait no wonder everything is so high….No wonder I cant buy a buger and stuff.

Pay the utilities…its the same thing…you pay their taxes and it is also taxed on top of that….no wonder its a little high and i can buy junk…which makes the burger people lose jobs which means these people cant buy burgers so burger sales are down..the govt need a few billion for the 19 new agency’s this year..so they raise the taxes the burgers go up again……….with everything so high we cant buy the big screen…less taxes for the govt..but with 4 more agencies opening have to raise taxes….dang the burger is now a buck and a nickle now…which means i have less money for stuff.

How do you end the madness? throw 3 trillion at it?
You shouldnt…but if you do….. you throw it at the bottom of the food chain.This way the algea grow..the frogs come..the fish eat the algea..the crickets come the frog eats the cricket..the turtle gets the frog…the catfish get the worms.The the dragonfly get his scraps on the top.the bass get the dragonfly…..Then the almighty shark uncle sam gets the bass.

This is why all the corps are going over sea…it takes to much to feed the shark.
I can get no stuff to feed it…its to high now…the shark is still hungry and raises taxes more …the effect cascades raising prices more as the producers raise prices in effect causing it high meaning I cant get as much stuff.
The solution to this is to feed the algae…this makes perfect sense..
The best way to keep the balance in effect is to get a way smaller shark..

Whats Obamas solution…why not just get more bass.

Now all you koolaid drinking brainwashed Obamiums lovers stop drooling over your Obama posters long enough to wake up from these speeches he was giving a few months ago and wake up and welcome to the real jungle.

Feel free to pass this around just provide the link.

Also you want to get involved and wake up a few then go to this forum go to the Obama threads and tell them BRETT sent you

 So, Osama himself decided to send Barack Obama a letter in
 his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the
 game. Obama opened the letter and it contained a single line
 of coded message:    370H-SSV-0773H

 Obama was baffled, so he emailed it to Howard Dean. Dean
 and the DNC and his aides had no clue either, so they sent
 it to Joe Biden.  Joe Biden could not solve so it was sent
 to the FBI and the CIA.

 Eventually they asked John McCain and his Staff to look at
 it. And within minutes McCain’s Staff emailed Obama with
 this reply:  ‘Tell Obama he’s holding the message
 upside down’.

  Could we be flirting with  irreparable catastrophe?  Should we be willing to take this gamble?

        About a year ago I would have voted for Obama. I have changed my mind three times since then.  I watch all  the news channels, jumping from one to another.  I must say this  drives my husband crazy.  But, I feel if you view MSNBC, CNN, and Fox
 News, you might  get some middle ground to work with.  About six months ago, I  started thinking “where did the money come from for  Obama”.  I have four daughters who went to college, and we were middle class, and money was tight.  We (including my girls) worked hard and there were  lots of student loans.
  I started looking into Obama’s life.  Around 1979 Obama started college at
Occidental in California .  He is very open about his two years at
Occidental. He tried all kinds of drugs and was wasting his time but,
 even though he had a brilliant mind, did not apply himself to his
studies.
      “Barry” (that  was the name he used all his life) during this time had two roommates, Muhammad Hasan Chandoo
 and Wahid Hamid, both from Pakistan .  During the summer of 1981,
after his second year in college, he made a “round the world” trip. 
Stopping to see his  mother in Indonesia , next Hyderabad in India ,
three weeks in Karachi , Pakistan   where he stayed with his
roommate’s family, then off to Africa to visit his father’s family. 
My question - Where did  he get the money for this trip?  Nether I,
 nor any one of my children would have had money for a trip like this when they where in college.
      When he came back he started school at Columbia University in New York .  It is at this time he  wants everyone to call him Barack - not Barry.  Do you know what the tuition is at Columbia ?  It’s not cheap! to say the least.  Where did he get money  for
tuition?  Student Loans? Maybe. After Columbia , he went to  Chicago to work as
a Community Organizer for $12,000. a year. Why  Chicago ?  Why not New
York ?He was already living in New York .              

             By “chance”  he met Antoin “Tony”Rezko, born in Aleppo Syria , and a real estate developer in Chicago . Rezko has been convicted of fraud and bribery this year.  Rezko, was named “Entrepreneur of the Decade” by the Arab-American Business and Professional  Association”.  About two years later Obama entered Harvard Law School .  Do you have any idea what tuition
s for  Harvard Law   School ?  Where did he get the money for Law School ?
More student loans?
     After Law school, he went back to
 Chicago . Rezko offered him a job, which he turned down.  But, he did take a  job with Davis, Miner, Barnhill & Galland. Guess what?  They represented”Rezar” which Rezko’s firm.  Rezko was one
of Obama’s first major financial contributors when he ran for office
 in Chicago .  In 2003, Rezko threw an early fundraiser for Obama
 which Chicago Tribune reporter David Mendelland claims was
 instrumental in providing Obama with ”seed money“  for his U.S. Senate race.
 In 2005, Obama purchased a new home in  Kenwoood District of Chicago for $1.65 million (less  than asking price).  With ALL those Student Loans - Where did he get  the money for the property?  On the same day Rezko’s wife, Rita,  purchased the adjoining empty lot for full price.
The London Times reported that Nadhmi Auchi, an Iraqi-born Billionaire loaned   Rezko $3.5 million three weeks  before
 Obama’s new home was purchased.  Obama met Nadhmi Auchi many times
 with Rezko.   Now, we have Obama running for  President. Valerie Jarrett, was Michele Obama’s boss.  She is now Obama’s chief advisor and he does  not make any major decisions without talking to  her first. Where was Jarrett born? Ready for this? Shiraz , Iran !  Do we see a  pattern here?  Or am I going crazy here?        On May 10, 2008 The Times reported, Robert Malley advisor to Obama was “sacked” after the press found out he was having regular contacts with “Hamas”, which controls Gaza and is connected with Iran .  This past week, buried in the back part of the
 papers,Iraqi newspapers reported that during Obama’s visit to Iraq , he asked their leaders to do nothing about the war until after he is  elected, and he will “Take care of things”.        

            Oh, and by the way, remember the  college  roommates that were born  in Pakistan ?  They are in charge of all those “small” Internet campaign contributions for Obama.  Where is  that money coming from?  The poor and middle class in this country? 
Or could it be from the Middle East ?

      And the final bit of news.  On September7, 2008, The Washington Times posted a verbal slip that was made on
“This Week” with George Stephanapoulos.  Obama on talking about his
religion said,”My  Muslim faith”.  When questioned, “he made a
mistake”.  Some mistake!
       All of the above information I got on
 line.  If you would like to check it - Wikipedia, encyclopedia,
 Barack Obama; Tony Rezko; Valerie Jarrett: Daily Times - Obama
visited Pakistan in 1981; The Washington Times - September 7, 2008;
 The Times May 10, 2008.
         Now the BIG question - If I found
 out all this information on my own, Why haven’t all of our “intelligent”
 members of the press been  reporting this?
         A phrase that keeps ringing in my ear -
 ”Beware of the enemy from within”!!!

This Includes Obama!

        This is very interesting and we all need to read it from start to Finish and send it on to anyone who will read it. Maybe this is why our American Muslims are so quiet and not speaking out about any atrocities. Can a good Muslim be a good American? This question was forwarded to a friend who worked in Saudi Arabia for 20 years. The following is his reply:

       Theologically - no . . . Because his allegiance is to Allah, The moon God of Arabia

         Religiously - no. . . Because no other religion is accepted by His Allah except Islam (Quran, 2:256)(Koran)

        Scripturally - no. . .. Because his allegiance is to the five Pillars of Islam and the Quran.
         Geographically - no . Because his allegiance is to  Mecca , to which he turns in prayer five times a day.

        Socially - no. . . Because his allegiance to Islam forbids him to make friends with Christians or Jews

        Politically - no. . . Because he must submit to the mullahs (spiritual leaders), who teach annihilation of Israel and destruction of America , the great Satan.

        Domestically - no. . Because he is instructed to marry four Women and beat and scourge his wife when she disobeys him (Quran 4:34)
        Intellectually - no. .. Because he cannot accept the American Constitution since it is based on Biblical principles and he believes the Bible to be corrupt.

        Philosophically - no. .. . Because Islam, Muhammad, and the Quran does not allow freedom of religion and expression. Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist. Every Muslim government is either dictatorial or autocratic.

        Spiritually - no. . . Because when we declare ‘one nation under God,’ the Christian’s God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as Heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in The Quran’s 99 excellent names.

        Therefore, after much study and deliberation….

        Perhaps we should be very suspicious of ALL MUSLIMS
in this country. - - - They obviously cannot be both  ‘good’ Muslims and good Americans.

        Call it what you wish it’s still the truth. You had better believe it. The more who understand this, the better it will be for our country and our future. The religious war is bigger than we know or understand .. .
        And Barack Hussein Obama, a Muslim, wants to be our
President? You have GOT to be kidding! Wake up America !

        Obama even says if he wins the election, he will be
sworn in on the Quran—not a Bible!

        Footnote: He was sworn in on the Quran for his
current office and he refuses to pledge allegiance to the
United States or  put his hand over his heart when the National Anthem is played!  The Muslims have said they will  destroy us from within. Hello!  Having a Muslim president
would seem to fit the bill! Will you trust this man with our national secrets?
        SO FREEDOM IS NOT FREE.

    THE MARINES WANT THIS TO ROLL ALL OVER THE U.S.

 I happen to respect our marines so here you go boys.

We at trailerparkjokes.com salute you. It goes as follows

YES, I’M A BAD AMERICAN

I Am the Liberal-Progressives Worst Nightmare. I am an

American.

I am a Master Mason and believe in God.
I ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles and believe in American

products.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not

some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I’m in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!

I think owning a gun doesn’t make you a killer, it makes you a

smart American.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or

victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in

English.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when

and where they want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and
fireman.

Willie G Davidson that makes the Awesome Harley Davidson

Motorcycles.

I don’t hate the rich. I don’t pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don’t waste my time watching or

arguing about it.

I’ve never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven’t burned any

witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up

already.

I believe if you don’t like the way things are here, go back

to where you came from and change your own country! This is AMERICA .

We like it the way it is!

If you were born here and don’t like it you are free to move

to any Socialist country that will have you.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend

Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part

of the problem and not the solution.

Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if

you’re breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

And, no, I don’t mind having my face shown on my drivers

license.

I think it’s good….. And I’m proud that ‘God’ is written on

my money.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I

don’t want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in

the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to

sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making ‘donations’ to their

cause. Get a Job and do your part!

I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it

takes two parents.

I believe ‘illegal’ is illegal no matter what the lawyers

thik!

I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in

AMERICA !

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I’m a BAD American.

We want our country back!

We NEED GOD BACK IN OUR COUNTRY !!

WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE,

ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE !

You couldn’t become chief of surgery after 143 days of experience of being a surgeon.

You couldn’t get a job as a teacher and be the superintendent after 143 days of experience.

You couldn’t join the military and become a colonel after a 143 days of experience.

You couldn’t get a job as a reporter and become the nightly news anchor after 143 days of experience.You couldn’t get a job as Director of Nursing after 143 days experience as an RN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT….

‘From the time Barack Obama was sworn in as a United State Senator, to the time he announced he was forming a Presidential exploratory committee, he logged 143 days of experience in the Senate. That’s how many days the Senate was actually in session and working. After 143 days of work experience, Obama believed he was ready to be Commander In Chief, Leader of the Free World … 143 days.

We all have to start somewhere. The senate is a good start, but after 143 days, that’s all it is - a start.

AND, strangely, a large sector of the America public is okay with this and campaigning for him. We wouldn’t accept this in our own line of work, yet some are okay with this for the President of the United States of America ? Come on folks, we are not voting for the next American Idol !!!!!

“St. Louis County Circuit Attorney Bob McCulloch, St. Louis City Circuit Attorney Jennifer Joyce, Jefferson County Sheriff Glenn Boyer, and Obama and the leader of his Missouri campaign Senator Claire McCaskill have attached the stench of police state tactics to the Obama-Biden campaign.

“What Senator Obama and his helpers are doing is scandalous beyond words, the party that claims to be the party of Thomas Jefferson is abusing the justice system and offices of public trust to silence political criticism with threats of prosecution and criminal punishment.

“This abuse of the law for intimidation insults the most sacred principles and ideals of Jefferson. I can think of nothing more offensive to Jefferson’s thinking than using the power of the state to deprive Americans of their civil rights. The only conceivable purpose of Messrs. McCulloch, Obama and the others is to frighten people away from expressing themselves, to chill free and open debate, to suppress support and donations to conservative organizations targeted by this anti-civil rights, to strangle criticism of Mr. Obama, to suppress ads about his support of higher taxes, and to choke out criticism on television, radio, the Internet, blogs, e-mail and daily conversation about the election.

“Barack Obama needs to grow up. Leftist blogs and others in the press constantly say false things about me and my family. Usually, we ignore false and scurrilous accusations because the purveyors have no credibility. When necessary, we refute them. Enlisting Missouri law enforcement to intimidate people and kill free debate is reminiscent of the Sedition Acts - not a free society.”

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. “Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America .”

The person says, “I not American, I Vietnamese.”

The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, “Thank you for wonderful America !”

That person puts up his hand and says, “I am from Middle East . I am not American.”

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, “Are you an American?”

She says, “No, I am from Africa .”

Puzzled, he asks her, “Where are all the Americans?”

The African lady checks her watch and says, “Probably at work.”

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller
Light for $14.95  Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would  make her look better at night than the cold cream……And that’s when the fight started.

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office
to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for
my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I
had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I
would have to go home and come back later The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, ‘That   silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she
processed my Security  Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too’
And then the fight started…..

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high
school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?”Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I
hear she hasn’t been sober since. ‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
And then the fight started…..

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just  seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. he was a
DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and
shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well,then which one are you?’
And that’s how the fight started…..

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for
some reason, took my order first ‘I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.’ He said, ‘Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?’ ‘Nah, she can order for herself.’
And that’s how the fight started…..

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University …

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down

and tune up should be part of your regular computer activities.If you are

going to be on the internet,you are going to be infected..it’s that simple.

This article if followed through will clean about 97% of the personal

computers out there.

The model machine for this article will be Windows XP.Windows Xp is chosen

because it is the most used operating system in use at this time.The same

principles used here can also be used for other Windows operatings systems

as well.

The Windows operating system is designed to be easy to run.This comes at

the cost of being more easily infected. Alot of things happen while we are

surfing the internet.Scripts are executed for us all in a seemless manner.

Microsoft has the right idea in making your computing experiance an easier

one. It is all the not so nice guys that are the problem. These not so nice

guys create all sorts of nasty things for your computer.

You may ask why why do these nasty people put spyware on my computer.One

word- MONEY.

Your surfing habits are tracked for one, and unwanted advertisemnets can

often be a result.

Theft,what you click on,that is an ad and ads cost money.People actually are

stealing revenues that are designed for someone else,you are only a pawn in

the game.

Its big bussiness and it is very popular and it is here to stay.

You do not have to surf for porn to be infected.Any thing from a simple

forum on cars to a site on how to make double layer cake puts you at

risk. Although there are millions of sites that do not participate in the

spyware game,there are millions that do.

Now lets get started on getting your computer to operating closer to the

performance it did when you purchased it.

We will be turning off system restore while we are doing our spyware

elimination.The reason for this is because,some spyware will simply re-

establish itself if system retsore is left on.

Here is how to turn off system restore for Windows XP.Click start–Control

panel–Classic view–System–System Restore tab–Check turn off system

restore–click ok.

Lets get on to the next step.I know you have heard it many times before.I

do not want to sound like a broken record here.UNINSTALL your unused

programs.My purpose for you here is not regain used didsk space but to

uninstall less than ideal programs,there is a big differance.

This is very important,many of these programs nail you when you install

them.Do not go to the control panel yet to uinistall these programs.First

we want to see if these programs have thier own un-installer.Click on

start,go to the programs and mouse on them,many will have un-installers

with them.In general always look for the uninstaller in the menu rather

than just jumping to control panel.

Uninstall all the garbage you can with the uninstallers.Reboot you

computer.Now go to Control panel–add remove programs–now unistall uneeded

programs.Keep your anti virus, your Utilies that come with your

machine,Adobe,java,windows updates{if listed} your drivers for printers and

sort.Do uninstall that free game crap,the toolbar items{unless it is

legitimate sush as Google toolbar or Yahoo toolbar.I am not saying that all

other toolbars are bad.I am saying that about 90 percent of other toolbars

are.They are a leading source of spyware infections. Get rid of them

now. Additionally you may be hesitant to uninstall your spyware tools that

you have on your computer now. These very tools are often spyware!Imagine

that.

NO good reputable spyware remover will ever be thrown in your face as a pop

up.a pop under,or the new ones that slide in from the side. Nor will they be

pushed in an E-mail. No legimate spyware remover will come out of the middle

of no where and say your computer is infected.What you are seeing when this

happens is the result of spyware itself.

With that said.lets now go get a quality reputable spyware removal tool.It

is called spybot search and destoy CLICK HERE to download. Click on download

here by safer networking ltd. Save the file. We will run it after it has

downloaded.It is always good practice to save a file before running it.By

doing so we can scan it first for a virus. Secondly when we go to install

it if our computer freezes up or whatever we dont need to go re-download

the file again.

Install spybot sd–during the install if the option to have protection for

internet explorer{active download blocker} or worded simular check it. There

is no need to check tea timer.Be patient during the install there are a few

steps to go through,just keep going.Be sure to get all your updates.

Note: if you are using Vista you will need to right click on the program

then run spybot as an administrator. Start up spybot and up in the upper

left hand corner you will see where it says Immunize in the shape of a

shield–click it–now after that has finished you will see where it also

says imminize toward the top with a little plus sign on it –click it–The

reason we do it in both places is some setups do not work unless done this

way. Now click— search and destroy–then click on— check for

problems. Scanning can take a while if you have an older pc so go make

something to eat or kill a little time. If you have never run Spybot before

chances are you will find all kinds of nasty spyware waiting to be removed

after the scanning is done,Go ahead and select the option to fix and remove

the objects. You have just done the single biggest favor that you can for

your computer and its free and prevents alot of nasty spyware by blocking

bad sites for you. What else is great about it is it does not use any

computer resources unless it is scanning. The exception would be tea timer

but I told you to not check that feature.

Next we will go download Ad-Aware{free} Click here. Install it. The install is

pretty straight forward just follow all the prompts. Next do a full system

scan.Clean up what it finds.Ad-aware has good help menus,it is very easy to

run.

Chances are the Ad-aware found a few issues nothing major as that is

usually found by spybot.No toolbox is complete without both. If given the

choice to have to rely on one or the other I pick spybot.

By now you have probably have removed alot of spyware,but we are not

done. The reason being is that spyware on a system makes way for more

spyware.If we are going to kill the enemy,lets don’t lets any of their

friends hang around to let some more of their buddies in.

What this means is we have to go do some more scanning. We are going to be

using another excellent free tool for this next scan. We are going to be

using what is called Housecall. Click here. This can take a while to get the

files on your system and get the scan completed.When you reach the screen

to to choose java based or to use a browser plug in,chose java based it

is faster.It is free and thorough however so be happy. When completed. Click

on clean infections automatically. Yep you have to wait some more.

You may have found another item or two with the above scan.We have one more

to go now,this is another free service this one is provided by Microsoft–

Click here–half way down the page click where it says FULL SERVICE

SCAN.This service will scan for a variety of nasty things.The drawback to

this service however is it does not tell the name of the offending spyware

or virus but does delete it for you.This is partially one of the reasons I

use this utility last.

The above methods will not clean 100 percent of spyware off all

computers.The above methods are designed to cure the majority of computers

out there with easy to use utilities. None of the utilities will do any

damage they are very safe.

There are are more powerful Utilities but this article is to cover the

majority of spyware and have the majority of people be able to use the

utilities with out the fear of doing any harm.

You should run spybot every week or two as well as ad-aware.You should use

house call every few weeks as well as the Microsoft full service scan.

Happy Computing!

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were
living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.
While this thought is still fresh in our brain…let’s take a look at New Orleans ..

It’s amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator,

Mary Landrieu (D)

is presently asking Congress for

250 BILLION DOLLARS

to rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number…

what does it mean?

A.

Well… if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans

(every man, woman, and child)

you each get $516,528.

B.

Or… if you have one of the 188,251 homes in
New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.

C.

Or… if you are a family of four…

your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington, D. C

HELLO!

Are all your calculators broken??

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax–Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers) Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

These are just a taste of the taxes you pay!

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago… and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt…

We had the largest middle class in the world…

and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened?

Can you spell ‘politicians!’

And I still have to

press ‘1′

for English.

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa .

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!

And finally…

9. Victoria ’s Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTittyBangBang

Remember there are many good post cards going around as has been for months.

Just a word of caution to stop you from automatically clicking on them in the future.

Good luck!

 The Sanyo DP42848 arrived in a well battered box. I was hesitant in the beginning to accept merchandise, but decided to take a chance and hope that no damage to the contents were done inside.

Upon opening what was left of the box, I found nothing broken externally. The cabinetry of the TV set was intact. The remote control unit also showed no damage. The Styrofoam packing was a little worse for wear, but appeared to have done his job.

I began as usual to remove all contents and set them out, to check for missing items. Nothing missing so all was good, I could continue testing on the Sanyo DP42848.

Contents include the following:
One LCD flat-panel TV 42 inch.
One owners manual.
One remote control unit.
One basic set of RCA plugs, for audio and video.
Rechargeable batteries for remote control unit.

It should be noted, that a wall’s stand is not included with this package but can be purchased separately.

The TV set comes with the following.
Three HDM I jacks.
S. - video input.
Digital audio output.
Two jacks for component video input.
A. V. input.
Analog/Digital antenna input.
Analog audio out jack.

General specifications for the Sanyo DP42848 are as follows.
42 inch wide screen LCD.
500 CD/M2 brightness rating.
Resolution is 1920 by 1080.
1080p progressive scanning for the latest technology and the most advanced picture possible.
Built-in atsc digital/NTSC analog tuner which receives analog broadcast and digital broadcasts.
2500 to one contrast ratio.
6.5/MS response time.
10 watt stereo amplifier with two built-in speakers in front of the cabinet.

Dimensions are as follows:
41.3 inches wide.
29.7 inches high.
10.2 inches deep.
55.1 pounds.
Height will be smaller of course if you are using a wall stand.

The Sanyo comes with a flat black finish on the cabinet.  It is basically a user preference, regarding flat finish or shiny finish.  Although a shiny finish cabinet, may look better as far as the cabinet is concerned, it is this editor’s opinion, that it does distract from the viewing area.  Additionally, you will not find nothing more than a little green light in the right-hand corner showing you that your unit is powered up.  Myself, I tend to like not having any distractions from the LCD panel itself.  Therefore, I rate this Sanyo excellent, with their finish.  You cannot tell in many instances where the panel ends and the cabinet begins.  Perfect.

Sanyo has fitted their TVs with Samsung displays for a long time.  Samsung is a well recognized company providing a good display whether it be in the lower price brackets or the upper price brackets.  Mark one up for Sanyo again for their wise choice for wear it counts most.  The display panels, do need to have a long life and a good reputation.  Sanyo done good here again.

Let’s move on to the sound.  The speakers to come with unit are satisfactory, by no means will you have that home theater sound that you were looking for, but the jacks for home theater are provided.  I will still rate the quality of the sound above many in this price range.

Let’s get down to picture quality, after all that should be what you are after.  Let’s say for a $850 42 inch LCD flat-panel, it is simply awesome.  A common problem with LCD flat panels is over emphasis of bright colors.  The Sanyo did not exhibit this characteristic except on rare occasion.  Shade levels were also very good.  With many LCD sets, the dark scenes lose detail, such as wrinkled clothing, and the darker scenes.  The overall picture quality of this Sanyo easily compares to other flatscreen TVs costing $1400-$1500.

Some TV sets do a better job of converting standard definition to high-definition.  Standard definition was designed for 480, we also have 720 and 1080 now at the moment.  We now have to take material which was originally designed for 480 lines to be converted to 720 or 1080.  This means something has to be faked.  This is often why a high definition television set does not have a good picture with a standard definition signal.  With this Sanyo here although the up conversion is not excellent it is very good, and one cannot ask for more with the TV in this price range.

Now let’s get to, trailing, ghosting or what some call blurring that is associated with an LCD during the fast moving pictures.  Means that this unit is an LCD it is susceptible to these conditions.  If you are looking for it, yes you can see it, as well as with practically any LCD TV in all price ranges.  I’m not going to rate the blurring as a problem or a weakness.

Let’s get down to some of the extra features, such as closed caption.  Yes they’re there and there are plenty of options for you to choose from.

This TV also comes equipped with the V-chip and all of the features that you will want to are there.

Let’s get to set up.  Set up is a breeze.  Remove the box bands, squeeze and remove before plastic interlocks on the side of the box.  Now left the box straight up two separate the two halves of the box, and you are set.  Unpack everything included and set it on a sofa or table.  Hook all your audio, video and any other connections that you will be using into the back of the set.  Now tear off a piece of the wrap that came to cover the LCD panel, cover your screen, and drape all your cables over to the front.  Place your TV where you want it, hook all your cables to your receivers, VCR players, DVD players, or whatever else he may be using.  Now turn all of these devices on, as you would as if you were going to be watching the device.

Now insert the supplied rechargeable batteries into remote control.  Turn on the TV set using your remote.  Your TV set is now ready to search for all available channels, and all available devices, yes it’s pretty easy.  This may take a few minutes, don’t worry about it, relax it will work out.  Soon you will be greeted with an excellent picture.

The first thing a person usually wants to do is jump to the picture adjustments.  As you will see on this TV, this is not necessary at all, the picture is right without the need for any fine-tuning.  However the adjustments are there if you do to you to do some fine-tuning for whatever reason.

You will not find your usual array of preset pictures such as game, movie, standard and various other preset formats for color brightness and contrast adjustments.  What you will find is an auto adjustment and a manual adjustment.  Your manual adjustment would be compared to the custom adjustment on other TV sets.  So basically after setting your manual adjustment and you now have two presets auto and the other being your manual.

Let’s get over to the audio adjustments.  You will not find much here.  A simple tone adjustment.  No graphic equalizer here folks

Your remote control unit is pretty basic and fairly easy to operate.  It is not the best looking remote control around, or isn’t loaded with functions.  Useful items do include a loud noise suppressor, which tends to work very well.  You will not need to turn the remote up and down every time the commercials fill the room.  Excellent.

You will find an energy saver feature.  Off, high and low are your options.  What this does is lower overall brilliance of the picture if you have this set to high or low.  This feature can come in handy if you decide to quickly lower their overall brilliance if the room is totally dark. Basically that gives you 3 brilliance presets.Nice

Summary:
This Sanyo DP42848 has a great picture.
This unit also has a nonreflective cabinet.
This unit has plenty of jacks unless you have an unusual amount of devices.
This TV comes equipped with adequate sound, however a separate home theater system would be just the ticket for this unit.
This is one very easy to operate unit, from set up to basic watching.
Some of the extra features such as advanced pictures adjustments and presets are not available as well as advanced audio adjustments.
This Sanyo DP42848 is available at your local Wal-Mart stores.
This TV sales for $848.
Basically what you get is a great picture, tuner, non-reflective cabinet, decent audio system, easy to setup, enough jacks for the average person.
I was thoroughly pleased with the Sanyo DP428848 and would have no problem whatsoever recommending it.
Now if you are looking for a TV set which has a shiny cabinet, and more bells and whistles on the remote then this is not the TV for you.
Some production costs savings had to be made somewhere to be able to provide a 42 inch LCD flat screen TV at this price.  The areas to save on production cost were chosen wisely.  The picture comes first and foremost and Sanyo chose not to skimp in this area.  That is what Sanyo did here they chose not to sacrifice picture quality at all.  The cabinet blends in beautifully and is not noticed during viewing, well done.  Although everything else may not rate excellent.  I consider this to be one heck of a value.

At the present moment if you are looking for a flat screen in this size,this is the best bang for the buck.

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.

“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”

Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know shit?”

For fear of perhaps a person or persons having gained remote access to his personal computer,he decided to let our fine security agents investigate the matter.

Agents found Gay porn pictures in hidden folders and several visits to gay porn sites.The agency dug the logs for hours trying to figure out who planted the gay material on his personal computer.

The agency broke the news that his computer was filled with gay porn and was infected with spy-ware.

Obama did not know that the agency believed that it was the work of a hacker.

When Obama was told that they would clean his computer of the filth. he stated it was a nice collection of photos and that he rather they would not clean the pictures.

The agency then asked Obama that he was aware of nude men with homosexual behavior in photographs were in excess two thousand photos.

Obama stated he did not know how many he had but there were very many.

The agency was relieved that they did not have a hacker.Their concern is now that if the computer does get hacked it could be very bad for Obama.The collection could hit the net.

He did finally agree to let the agency monitor the computer for the next few following days as an extra precaution to intrusion.

WILL UPDATE AS MORE INFO BECOMES AVAILABLE!!

October 5th 2008 update

A man from the Chicago area age 32 is attempting to take credit for the photos on the computer used at the residence of Obama.–Will keep posted

Gun Control
Barack Obama at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas , asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to
slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

Then he said into the microphone, ‘Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.’

Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said: ”Well, dumb-ass, stop clapping!’

Columbo was still scratching his head.

Ah . . . Sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir

Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean Senator Obama, sir. Um . . . know you are busy and important and stuff. I mean running for president is very important and . . . ah . . . I hate to bother you. I will only take a minute ok, sir?

See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out. You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things.

Hey, you have a nice place here! The wife sees houses like this on TV all the time and says boy she wishes she had digs like this you know? Is that painting real? Really? Wow. I saw something like that in a museum once!

Oh, sorry sir. I didn’t mean to get off the track. So if you could just help me out a minute and give me some details, I will get right out of your way. I want to close this case and maybe take the wife to Coney Island or something. Ever been to Coney Island ? No, I didn’t think so. .

Well, listen, anyways, I can’t seem to get some information I need to wrap this up. These things seem to either be “locked” or “not available’. I’m sure it’s just some oversight or glitch or something, so if you could you tell me where these things are . . … I . . . I . . . have them written down here somewhere . . … oh wait. Sorry about the smears. It was raining out. I’ll just read it to you.

Could you help me please find these things, sir?

1. Occidental College records — Not released
2. Columbia College records — Not released
3. Columbia Thesis paper — “not available”
4. Harvard College records — Not released
5. Selective Service Registration — Not released
6. Medical records — Not released
7. Illinois State Senate schedule — “not available”
8. Law practice client list — Not released
9. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate - - Not released
10. Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth — Not released
11. Harvard Law Review articles published — None
12. University of Chicago scholarly articles — None

13. Your Record of baptism– Not released or “not available”

14. Your Illinois State Senate records–”not available”

Oh hey . . listen! I know you are busy! Is this too much for you now? I mean, tell you what. I will come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get these things together, you know? I mean, I know you are busy, so I will just let myself out. I will be back tomorrow. And the day after. . “Who wants to know these things?” asked Senator Obama.  Columbo answered:

THE  PEOPLE

Obama was proud to show his haircut.

McCain didn’t think it would be necessary.

Our population is about 301 million counting every man, woman and child.  So, 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up.  Now, divide 200 million, 18+ adults into $85 billion - that equals $425,000.00 each!   Yes, my plan is to give that $425,000 to every adult as a ‘We Deserve It’ dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free.  So, let’s assume a tax rate of 30%.  Everyone would pay $127 ,500.00 in taxes.  That sends $25.5 billion right back to Uncle Sam!  It also means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.  A husband and wife would have $595,000.00!

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00?

• Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.
• Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads.
• Put away money for college – it’ll really be there.
• Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
• Buy a new car – create jobs
• Invest in the market – capital drives growth.
• Pay for your parent’s medical insurance – health care improves.
• Enable deadbeat parents to come clean – or else.

Remember this is for every adult U.S. citizen, 18 and older (including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehmann Brothers and every other company that is cutting back) and of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we’re going to re-distribute weal th let’s really do it!   Instead of trickling out a puny $1,000.00  ‘economic incentive’.

If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U.S. citizen!

As for AIG – liquidate it.

• Sell off its parts.
• Let American General go back to being American General.
• Sell off the real estate.
• Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

We deserve the money and AIG doesn’t.  Sure it’s a crazy idea, but can you imagine the coast-to-coast block party?!

How do you spell Economic Boom? W-e  D-e-s-e-r-v-e  I-t  d-i-v-i-d-e-n-d!  I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion ‘We Deserve It’ dividend more than do the ‘geniuses’ at AIG or in Washington, D.C..

And remember, my plan only really costs $59.5 billion because $25.5 billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.&nbs p; Good idea?  I think so.

He approaches the man behind the counter in the pro shop and says, “I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddie.”

The man behind the counter says, “The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but all of the caddies are out on the course. What I will do for you is this: We just received 8 brand new robot golf caddies. If you’re willing to take one with you out on the course and come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is on me today.”

The golfer obviously accepted the man’s offer.

He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, “I think my driver will do the job.”

The robot caddie turned to the man and said, “No sir. Use your 3 wood. A driver is far too much club for this hole.”

Hesitantly, the golfer pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green.

The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assistance.

As the golfer pulled out his putter he said, “I think this green is gonna break left to right.”

The robot then again spoke up and said, “No sir. I do believe this green will break right to left”

Thinking about the last time the robot corrected his prediction, he decided again to listen to the machine.

He made his putt and birdied the hole thanks to the robot and his advice.

But his luck didn’t end there. His entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the assistance of the new robot golf caddie.

Upon returning to the clubhouse, the man behind the counter asked, “How was your game ?” The golfer stated, “It was, by far, the BEST game I ever played. Thank you very much for letting me take one of your robots.

See you next week.

A week passed, and excited, the golfer returned to the pro shop.

Upon entering, he turned to the man behind the counter and said, “I would like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please.”

The gentleman from behind the counter turned to the man and said, “Well the 18 holes is no problem. However, we had to get rid of the robots. We had too many complaints.”

Confused, the golfer cried, “COMPLAINTS? Who in the heck could’ve complained about those robots? They were incredible”

The man sighed and said, “Well, it wasn’t their performance.

It was that they were made of shiny silver metal, and the sun reflecting off them was blinding to other golfers on the fair way. ”

The golfer said, “So then why didn’t you just paint them black?”

The man nodded sadly and replied, “We did. Then four of ‘em didn’t show up for work, two filed for welfare, one of them robbed the pro shop, and the other is running for President.”

Dell has done a pretty decent job with the Inspiron 1525.Although not perfect and there are some things that could be inmroved upon,This is a winner for the money.
499$  at best buy
This dell came packed with some decent hardware as follows.
Vista home premium
15.4 wide screen glossy screen 1280×800
160 gig sata drive{sata drives are fast}
2 gigs ddr2 ram pc2 5300
6 cell battery
8x dual layer dvd writer
Intel® Pentium® Dual Core T2390 (1.86GHz/533Mhz FSB/1MB cache)
Intel Graphics Media Accelerator X3100
Built in wireless
Ethernet
Modem
IEEE 1394{Fire wire}
4 usb ports
s video
2 headphone out
Line in-Mic in
VGA
HDMI
8 in 1 digital media reader
Media buttons for sound,play, pause. rewind. fast forward

The dell comes packed with just about everything you might need.

The appearance and fit of the Inspiron 1525 is good.Dell has always made a quality laptop,but some models just werent with the times on appearance.The Inspiron 1525 is thin enough to look modern,and remanins ridged as the same time.The Inspiron 1525 scores well here.The dell logo however on the lid appears to be at risk of being damaged if snagged on an object.The logo is made of a somewhat soft material.Lid tension is good and has little flex.There are zero dead pixles.Screen finsh is durable for a laptop in this class.

The display is great for a laptop in this price range.Brightness is good.Angle viewing is better than many.Screen reflections on the glossy finish can usually be bothersome to most,there is no exception here.The angel viewing is good enough to usually move their screen and get on with business.

The keyboard has a good feel. Key board flex isnt a problem.The keys are not as easy to see as many though{black on silver}They are not hard to see,but dont stand out as good as black on white or white on black keys.The function keys are not color coded what so ever so you need to look longer than usual to find what you need to press.After  time or two using them you will be ok.

The touch pad buttons are great.The touch pad itself however is nothing to get excited about.The touch pad is of the Alps variety.The driver that comes with the touchpad has limited extra features and is not the smoothest scroller.Synaptics makes a far better touchpad,with much better extra features as well as being very smoth with scrolling.

The dvd burner has a decent tray,the dvd’s click on the spindle reliably enough.The sliding tray is of good construction.Vibration is low after trying several cds,with only one producing moderate vibration.That particular cd had caused considerable vibration with other laptops.The eject button is a little awkward due to the eject button being flush,you may find your self leaning your head over the first few times you use it.You get Roxio basic for your software when you purchase the laptop at best buy.

The unit comes equipped with a 6 cell battery.I got 4 hours of life with casual surfing with the display dimmed.The AC power brick brings the battery back up to full charge in a short time for a stock power brick.

The hard drive is quiet.The hard drive is fast for a laptop.Dell did great here. Processor and memory also play a part with being able open large files.A fast hard drive such as this one save wait times as well.

The built in speakers will not impress your friends while playing music,sorry.They sound tight and tinny.They are fine for general usage. They do seem to improve with time the more they are used.

The wireless system is good,you can pick up signal while some others may not be able to.The wireless switch is on the side.
Its stiff,just the way i like it so it doesn’t get accidentally shut off.A nice extra feature inclduded is the abilty to look for networks by holding the switch up,without needing to be booted into windows.Sweet. A light confirms if there are networks available.This can also be used as a basic trouble shooting device.Excellent.

Heat.Lets say this is one cool running laptop,you can have it on for hours and it remains cool.The fan isnt the quietest however,More design work would have been welcome to smooth that out a little.But hey you have no problem hearing the air move, so it is a comfort,if you are paranoid.

Graphics capabilities will not match gaming laptops.You can not play your most demanding games on it.One thing you can do however is beat the other laptops in this class with the graphic capabilities provided.
.
This  Dell came with recovery cds + recovery patition as well.Sweet,A recovery to factory image{using recovery partition},including setup,all the way to setting up Google as home page was 16 minutes and 34 seconds.Any one having a complaint with that has personal issues.

The port layout is contained on the sides.the rear of the laptop has no jacks or ports.This is not the ideal way to layout.The VGA belongs in the rear.If you are going to hook up the VGA so this big heavy cable is out of the way.At least one USB port should be provided in the rear,this is benficial when it is used as a semi permanent hookup or u absolutely need the cord out of the way.The headphone jacks are in the front,when the side is preferred for a laptop.Anything in the front has the most risk of damage and is most likely to be in the way.If you havent guess yet,yes the plug is straight instead of angled where the power comes in at.The vodka team must have got the assingment of port placements.

How is support?Well its a dell,so support is good,all your drivers and such are available as usual.I like Dell support,if help is needed you can get an excellent walk through on the phone.Your Unit may be 3 years old and you will still recieve help.Xp drivers are available if you choose to go from Vista to Xp.

How does it perform?Out of the box this laptop does not contain much bloatware,so after unistaiing a couple programs I was ready to roll.Now for a trip to Windows Updates to get the security holes fixed as well as some bug fixes.Its time to get an AV after dumping the Nortons,so off to AVG it is.The laptop is  now ready for a workout.I begin by opening programs to acceptt the license agreement get them out of the way and go through any settings that may be needed,as to avoid possibly fighting it later when I have 20 windows going,Everything went great, not one problem encountered during the initation stage.I downloaded and installed Google Earth.Opened it.Downloaded Mozilla Firefox,installed then opened it.Set up an email account with Windoos Mail left it open.Opened Spider Solitaire,Word pad,Internet explorer,Windows defender and started a scan.I then started basic surfing and did some file searches.The result.No hangups or errors what soever.This machine will run many applications at once without any problem.

I then installed Dragon Naturally Speaking and run it through its paces.{a very high tech speech to text and command converter} a  very hungry application.This laptop wth its fast sata drive and duo core processor make the application perform very well.

I then installed super pi did a 1 m run in a time of 34.117 seconds.I then did a super pi run of 32 m to check for heat and stableness.The fan woud actually turn off at times.This laptop has a very effecting cooling system.I aborted the 32 m early as it is a lengthy test and served its purpose.

Time to rip a couple cds.I ripped two full audio cds quickly and without any errors.I transferred some files via dvd from one machine to another with out problems.

I tried a usb port with a 4 gig flash drive to try the ready boost.The hardware took off as expected.

The dell 1525 is a great machine for the money.Strong point are a good display,excellant harddrive,good processor 2 g ddr2 ram,nice keyboard,good battery,good support,cool running and all the ports and jacks you need.

The Dell 1525 Inspiron cons are not many,The not so fantastic speakers,the less than ideal placement of the ports,and the Alps touchpad are things we can live with.I highly recommend this laptop.

Get your self a nice headset while at the store the audio system actually sounds good through them.You will be glad you did.

Hey, folks, you want to tweak the Drive-By Media with me right now?

You are aware, probably, that Barack Obama lost his bearings recently and said that he was going to campaign in all 57 states.

You heard this?  And most everybody chalked it up to, ‘Well, he’s tired.’

You know, this is a Dan Quayle moment.  I mean, Dan Quayle goes out there and misspells  ‘potato,’ and we still hear jokes about it.

Barack Obama says he’s gonna go out and campaign in 57 states!  He was just tired, you know,  it’s been such a long campaign, he’s been so many places, he probably thinks there are 57 states.

Well, I have here a printout from a web site called  the International Humanist and Ethical Union.

And here is how the second paragraph of an article on that website begins.

‘Every year from 1999 to 2005 the organization of the Islamic conference representing the 57 Islamic states presented a resolution to the United Nations Commission on human rights called commbating.’

Obama said he’s going to campaign in 57 states, and it turns out that there are 57 Islamic states.

 There are 57 Islamic states!

So did Obama just lose his bearings, or was this a more telling slip, ladies and gentlemen?

You all are paying 78% of your earnings in taxes.

When you receive your paycheck 7 1/2 percent is taken out for Social Security your employer matches 7 1/2 percent this equals 15%.  If your employer did not pay in the seven half percent these can be wages for you.

Now let’s take out Medicare Medicaid and all the other words that are used to describe this other tax.

Let’s take out our federal taxes, our state taxes, pay I bet you are up to over 40% right now.  Correct?

Now let’s go fill up our fuel tank.  You lost pretty good chunk there didn’t you.  You see not only did you pay a large percentage of taxes for your gasoline, but you also paid everyone’s taxes that is involved from the beginning to oil refinery all the way to the cashiers paycheck at the gas station.

Let me explain in further detail.  Let’s take a figure of $100 billion to use just for the sake of easy figuring.  Let’s say a company earned $100 billion in one year.  This company will have approximately a $40 billion tax right off the top.  Who pays for the $40 billion you do.

Let us go purchase a new car for a moment.  Let’s go get a license plates.  Pretty expensive isn’t it.  The sales tax on a $20,000 automobile add up fast.  Now remember, the $20,000 you spent for the automobile a huge portion of that, goes to property taxes for the automobile manufacture, their 40% tax, the taxes for the sales man.  He also had to pay for the fuel taxes that the transit truck consumed while delivering your new automobile, and those taxes for that company as well that delivered the vehicle.  The same holds true for every part that is on your vehicle.  Example let’s start with the iron ore  manufacturing process.  His 40% tax, has to be passed on to the purchasers of the iron ore.  Now automatically the price of iron ore has just escalated 40%.  The costs to transport this iron ore is also elevated remarkably, because you are also paying a 40% tax that the transit Company is receiving to haul the iron ore.

Now let’s assemble in our minds a basic manufacturing plant that produces parts from the iron ore.  They are going to need buildings of course.  Now these buildings are going to be expensive, because they are paying everybody’s taxes before them involved with manufacturing of the building.  We think that cost is passed on to?  You of course.  Are you starting to see a trend here!

Not this point we don’t even have a single part made yet.  We have buildings with iron ore, now an expensive product, for they have paid taxes of the iron ore mines and the taxes of the buildings supplies.  This is just the beginning of a long chain.

We need employees, utilities, machinery, and much for before production can even begin.  All of which cost a lot of money with a huge part going to pay the prior guys taxes in the chain.

Now let’s jump ahead to a finished part.  Let’s ship that part to a car manufacturer.  The car manufacturer pays for the property tax of the prior guy in the chain.  The car manufacturer also pays for the taxes of of the prior guys in the chain of which if you remember correctly equates to about 40%.

Now let us jump ahead to a finished automobile.  Let’s transport for that vehicle to a dealership.  You pay for the transport which is huge, the transporter is paying for all of his taxes, all of the taxes involved with his tractor-trailer rig (I’m sure they also have a 40% tax margin above them) the transporter is paying for all of the taxes from the people who drove the well to the cashier at the gas station.

Your new car is now at the dealership, who also gets taxed about 40% for their profits, also paying seven half percent Social Security wages for their employees.  Elevated insurance costs,(remember they will also have a 40% overhead to the government, as well as seven and a half percent Social Security overhead with employees.  Let us not forget their high property taxes, their high building costs, which is all reflected in the price of a car.  The list can go on and on and on.

Let’s sell the car in two years.  When the car is retagged, the government makes a good chunk of money again.  Another couple years, and the same thing happens again.  Even if you do not sell a car, but merely hang on to the you pay property taxes on it every year.  If the car is driven for 150,000 miles gets 20 miles to the gallon it will have burned 7500 gallons of gasoline.  The government will have made about $5,000 just in fuel taxes alone on this vehicle.  Another 6000 simply in taxes when the car is repurchased a couple times.  Property taxes on the vehicle as well throughout its life also adds up to a good chunk.  As you can see the total approaches roughly what the car cost in the beginning.  Isn’t this crazy!

China!
Why are things in expensive from China.  After all it should be expensive, due to having to be transported from the other end of the earth 12,000 miles away.  First by ship, then by truck.
Perhaps the government of China does not have their hand dipped into the well all way along the chain.
This is why you can walk into a convenience store and buy a watch for one dollar.It cost very little to make.  Now before you go on saying that the people in America are getting paid a lot more is the reason being that  cost of anything manufactured in America.  Believe me when I tell you that these people sweating their tush off for eight bucks an hour would tend to disagree with you, for they can barely make a living off this.  American employees are not overpaid by any means.  Try assembling the 500 pieces an hour every hour five days a week all the time and you will see that you should get paid three times as much.  Simple.
Anything purchased from overseas will usually be cheaper.

Let us take for a moment something simple such as a gallon of rainwater.  Basically this is free.  Let’s assume I have 10,000 1 gallon containers full of rainwater, sitting in a building.  Now I’m going to sell the this water.  First I need to figure how much are the property taxes for the building to house water.  Second I need to automatically charge double because the government will be getting half.

Hypothetically let me select a figure of $.25 per gallon.  Now let me sell the this water.  Undoubtedly the water goes to a warehouse, I sell it to them for $.30 a gallon.  I’m sure their property taxes are huge.  Now let’s throw in the 40% tax as an overhead that they are going to have right off the bat.  About the various other taxes associated with this product along way such as testing equipment and the sort all of which are taxed.  Anything bought by the company they pay tax on, as well as the taxes of the people they purchase from.  Sounds like our free gallon of rainwater is going to be pretty expensive doesn’t it.  4000 gallons is a pretty good load.  Now let’s all that product 750 miles.(Ouch)  Who’s make all the money?  The government of course!  Hey, now let’s get that water in the store.  This could get expensive, we have to pay the high cost of transporting the product.  Now mind you it’s about $2.40 a mile to haul the product around.  Why so expensive?  Well remember, they have to pay everybody’s taxes before them.  Not to mention their own taxes.  So what could have been $.70 is now $2.40.  Getting the picture?

Alright now, let us let the store make a nickel off that gallon.  Sounds like a fair profit to me doesn’t it . Now let’s look at this store overhead.  40% right off the top to the government.  Employee taxes seven half percent social security, workers comp.  Insurance the list goes on.  Do you see how much more they are going to have to charge them what they got it for just to make their nickel.  Hey then when you buy the damn thing you  pay about five to 10% sales tax on top of that, imagine that.

Let’s calculate what the government makes off of a house during its lifetime.  Let’s assume that the house will stand for 50 years, how much are the property taxes for that house during its 50 years?(As much as a house cost to begin with?)  yepper.  Now this does not include any buying or selling of the house in the meantime, which would only bring about more taxes to the total.  Now this is not even with a bank involved by all imagine how much worse it could get if I were to include this in the equation.

You really don’t your house do you?  You just pay cheap rent for it don’t you.  For if you do not pay the government , yearly, then the government will take your house.  In an essence, they own it, they have control over it.

How about your land?  If you were to take off for Africa or Australia or wherever you decide to come back seven years later one of two things would have happened your taxes would be so outrageous to catch up on them or your land would be gone.  Why should you pay on something that you own?

Now let’s flip the coin for a minute, and imagine that you are a renter.  Let’s say that you rent is 500 a month for a small unit.  Do you think that the landlord is getting rich?  Not as rich as you may think.  Why?  Because of his outrageous taxes, not only does he have to pay the property taxes as you would if you were a homeowner.  He also asked to pay huge taxes on his income made from the units, bingo.  So in essence half of your rent money basically goes right to the government, imagine that.

Time to go the grocery store, and how much you hate this.  Let’s empty your wallet big time now.  Let’s go pay some of the property tax for the store, let’s pay on their 40% tax overhead.  Let’s pay on the employees taxes if we will.  Let’s pay on all of the fuel tax involved in transporting all of the groceries to the store.  Let’s pay on the taxes of every property involved from the farmer, to the warehouse, to the factory making food, then let us pay all of their 40% overhead taxes.  Now remember, a seed only needs water sunshine and nutrients from the soil to succeed.  A cow only needs grass water and land in time to grow, and off to the slaughterhouse we go.  Now the farmer has to sell his cow, in doing so he needs to pay for his property taxes.  You also have to pay taxes on his income from selling the cow.  Well that just tripled what he would have been able to charge for this cow.  The same goes for the slaughterhouse.  The same goes for the trucker, that all the beef.  The same goes for the butcher.  You as the consumer, had to pay when everybody else had to pay to keep the government happy.  Simple.

Time to pay the electric bill.  Hey it’s $120 but as you know about $60 of that is going straight to the government.  The other 60 will pay wages and the sort for the people at the electric company.  Remember that Social Security tax?  That’s right you are paying that for them to, as well as your own.

In summary, you can see that the government makes huge profits from beginning to end.  In essence you are paying one dollar for something that could be purchased for twenty two cents.

Where does it all go?  All of this modern high-speed machinery does nothing to benefit you by being able to buy things cheap.  It is the taxes that you have to pay for everybody else that is before you in the chain.

Now the money that people did make from these purchases, is money that will be spent by them, and of course, the items that they purchase have that same repetitive tax effect that you had when you made your purchase.  So basically now all of your dollar bill has went back to the government.

Now let’s let the money change hands five more times, which usually does not take very long.  Do you see how much more money the government is made?

How much tax should there be?  A rough estimate would be around 1 1/2 percent.  This does not sound like much, but when you consider that the next guy, will be paying the previous guys 1 1/2 percent tax followed by the previous guys 1 1/2 percent tax and so on and so on.  We will have reached a 10% tax after a product going only through seven stages.  Many, many products go through dozens of stages.  Also when you spend your money with just a 1 1/2 percent tax, and that money will be spent over and over by other people each paying a tax.  Your dollar bill really never dies it just goes from one hand to the other.

I have rainwater for five cents a gallon.  Is anybody interested?

Solution: Sell grain for $136.00 a bushel. 

Can’t buy it?  Tough!   Eat your oil!
Ought to go well with a nice thick grilled filet of camel ass!!!

Is someone being gay fit to run your country?  Do you want a gay man to represent your country?  Would you feel comfortable with a gay man running your country?  Many would not want the beliefs of the gay and pounded into their minds.  Where do you draw the line?  Towel head?  Unpatriotic?  Muslim?  Being able to visit the Middle East in comfort and free of fear unlike a real American.  What does it take to disqualify a man for the presidency of the United States?  Does America and its people have any value left?  Have the polls been tampered with?  Do you believe that obama is being forced upon us, just to show that we are a liberal nation?  It has been reported that obama has taken opportunities to get a little touchy and feely with other men.  Most of these displays of affection have been with other politicians .  Little can be done in to the others offended politicians due to the gay-rights acts.  Come on  I have nothing against a man being gay.  I would not want a gay president however to represent my country.  I want the person that represents my country to be straight, patriotic, and hold the American values that we’ve had since the beginning.  I do not want my Pledge of Allegiance changed.  I do not want a man for president who may be having gay affairs with other towel heads.

Where do you draw the line?  How liberal are you?  If you are a liberal leave now thank you.  The liberal way of thinking is no way to have your country ran.  Who is to say that there may not be sexual favors exchanged for votes?  It can happen.

How can anyone in their right mind, consider for a moment, that obama would make a good president.  But if you vote for obama, then you indeed are a traitor your self.  Any man who is tied up with the Middle East has no business whatsoever being involved with politics in the United States of America, its that simple.

So what are you going to do?

You can vote for McCain.  McCain paid his dues.  McCain is solid.  You know that McCain is 100% pure American, and also puts others before himself.  McCain being a war veteran himself will do what is necessary to ensure your well-being and safety in the future.

You know what to do, in November.

Do not take chances with your future and her children’s future, do not vote for obama, do not be one of those intends to go against the grain just to show how good of a person they can be.

85% of the American children have a dream of going to college after

high school.  However there’s only a tiny percent that actually make to

college.  Many of them are smart enough and did well enough in high

school to go to college, but with the high cost of tuition and they’re

not able to attend.

When is the last time that you were around a college campus, only to

see several towel heads and other immigrants every where.  Well, if you

have recently seen a campus you will understand.

There are a large number of immigrants in our colleges, taking up seats

that could be taken up by your neighbor or your child.

If you read my previous article concerning the invasion of the Mexicans

then you’ll understand very much so why this is a major problem.

Let’s envision for a moment that anyone who is not a citizen of the

United States of America is not in our colleges.  What do you see?  You

see millions of empty seats.  Now how do we fill those empty seats?  We

lower the tuition dramatically!  It’s that easy…  We will also have a

much better education being received by the students.  How?  Because

the professors are not busy spending time trying to help someone that

does not speak English understand what he is teaching, we will not be

held back as where are.

How many doctors have you seen that could barely speak English?  Many!

If you can barely speak English how can you really understand what is

being taught to you?  Have you ever had a Middle Eastern doctor that is

in America at your local hospital call your wrist an elbow?  I have!

I am not saying that all foreign students do not learn, but there are

many who do not.  A plain old white boy who does not learn what he is

supposed to will not graduate its that simple.
I’m not against having others learn, if demand is so high in other

countries now why don’t some of the professors go over there and

teach, simple.  Everybody’s a winner.  Then there will be a shortage of

professors over here who tend to wind up if they don’t get enough

money, than the remainders will get paid more, simple everybody is a

winner.

Why are all immigrants in our colleges?  Because we let them.  Not

necessarily because we have the best schools, it is because we have the

softest policies.

We are at war with a dangerous country, and that alone should be reason

enough to tighten up our borders.  It has been shown in the past, that

several of the terrorists were involved in killing or innocent were

educated here in the United States.  We look like fools to the rest of

the world.  We have lost the respect that we once had.

The United States used to be a well respected country throughout the

world.  With the current war going on, much of that respect is lost.

Many people do not understand or refuse to acknowledge the fact that it

is our own niceness that got us into the position that we are in today.

Let’s stop teaching our enemies to build chemical weapons in the sort

against us.  Let’s teach our own children and our own neighbors give

them a chance in life before we teach everyone else.  There would be no

problem whatsoever with filling those seats and  schools, many a

childhood dream could be filled.

What can you do?  You can stop being a liberal piece of shit, and look

after your own here in America before you look after others.

200 years ago the United States began as a nation that had very low

population.  During this time, we had an open border policy, which

enabled practically anybody to come to America.  At that time we were

in need of growth, much of the United States was actually a bare land.

But coming to America was encouraged so that we could grow our

manufacturing , farmlands and our population.

Much has happened the last 200 years.  We have become the number one

food producers in the world.  We have put a spot on the map as

manufacturing as well.  We now have giant cities some with 3 million

some with six some with 8 million and growing.

There is a need for balance in the growth of the country.  You cannot

introduce over 15% of the population in a large country, in such a

short period of time.

You cannot blame the Mexicans, they are  only allowed in at their own

will.  The problem lies with our own government,

remember a few years ago, when we made millions and millions of the

illegal Mexicans legal merely based on the fact that we could not

control them crossing our borders.  It was a way for America to save

face for something that they could not control.

The reason for rental property being so high is because of supply and

demand.  The more people you have that are needing to rent a house the

more you can charge.  It’s that simple.  An extra 15% of people in need

of a rental property is a huge quantity.  If 15% of the rental houses

suddenly came up empty can you now see how much the rat would come

down, the property owners would be wanting to fill them quickly!

Now let’s turn our attention to our labor forces.  The more people you

have looking for a job the less the worker will get paid.  It’s that

simple.

Quite frankly the whole situation just burns my ass.

If I’m not mistaken I do believe we have a war going on at this time.

If millions of Mexicans can walk across the border every year, what is

to stop a terrorist us from doing the same thing.  All we need is a

towel head or two mixed up in the bunch.  That alone, should be reason

enough for anyone to want to shut down the borders.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my Mexican food.  There have been

numerous Mexican restaurants open recently.  Makes you curious to where

they got the money, doesn’t it.  If the American dollar is so strong in

Mexico and the Mexican dollar is so weak and the Mexican dollar is

worthless here in the United States, then how are all these new

restaurants getting opened up?  Interesting…..  I think so.  But huh

nothing beats a great fajita.

I have respect for the common Mexican who will come over here and pick

oranges for very minimal wages.  I have more respect for him that a

foreigner who’s doing well for himself here.  They are here only to

merely take advantage of our system, which me and you suffer for.

The situation is bad.  Honestly this pisses off .  I hate when I go to

make a call to a place here in America and I am greeted by fucking

Spanish on the phone.

Do you want to know why you are giving a menu that begins in Spanish?

It helps fill a requirement that is needed for organizations to help

handicapped and such.  It is being Mexican handicap?  Nope.

I was recently watching a news channel that showed Mexican children

being bused to our schools.  Now mind you these children are not

citizens of the United States, but we go over there and pick them up,

take them to school, and then take them back home.  What is wrong with

that picture!  We already hear plenty about how our schools claim they

don’t have enough money and are always wanting more just to educate our

own.  Let alone, who knows how many are under the bus when it gets here

.  But hey them fajitas are good.

The governor of the state of California recently stated that all of the

Mexicans were causing his school system to be in great financial distress,

but there is nothing they can do due to federal laws.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have millions of homes, and millions of jobs

available to the Americans again.  Imagine how much rent would go down,

how many jobs would be available, you could simply demand more wages.

Yes sir.

How much time will pass before I required to have learn fucking Spanish

before I can write an article.

I am dead serious.  How many of us will be hampered with what we can do

because we cannot speak or write Spanish.  My writing days will be

over.  Many of people who answer the phone will soon be screwed.  It’s

that simple.  You won’t even be able to get a job at McDonald’s

because you can’t speak Spanish, it’s not as far away as you think.

Sucks don’t it.  What can you do to change it?  Well, there is not a

lot that you can do by yourself, but it’s every one hung up the phone

when greeted in Spanish, maybe they will get the idea.  Myself I refuse

to go to Mexico for vacation, I hang up the phone if I am greeted in

Spanish.  But hey, I like my fajitas.

How do you like getting a new owners manual for only to find out that

half of it is in Spanish.  Hey, how about giving me more information in

English that is.  Even the menus are TVs and VCRs are littered with

Spanish making it more difficult to navigate and find what we need.

Imagine the more options that you could have it that available space

was not state taken up with another language.

I spent many years in Los Angeles, a major city, the common white man

is in the minority, sad but true.  Nothing is being done to alleviate

the problem, rather our own government only makes decisions to make

matters worse.  Why?

Anyone care for fajita?

While trailerparkjokes.com does not endorse any candidate for president we have to strongly condemned Senator Obama sending his cronies out to attack John McCain. General Wesley Clark said that McCain did nothing but “rode in an airplane” and that does not qualify him to be president. General Clark spent less than one year in Vietnam. McCain spent more that five times that as a Prisoner of War. In which he was shot down while FLYING a A-4. From an aircraft carrier which he had volunteered to serve on after his carrier was damaged by fire. To top it off McCain was offer an out by the North Vietnamese but chose to stay.  Saying that he would not leave unless those that were there before him would be allowed to leave as well.  So basically he and were 5 1/2 years of torture, while you went home early.  He has more balls than  you will ever have.  After all he was not ”forced” out of the military like you.  So Obama why don’t you condemn these statements made by Wesley Clark?

We at trailerparkjokes,com support you,a well written letter indeed.

WOULDN’T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
” My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world’s nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT’ll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at ho me . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. “Bon ne chance, me z a mies.”
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don’t care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes , Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put ‘em? Yep, border security!!
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we’ll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country’s oil needs for decades to come. If you’re an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, ‘darn tootin.’
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe yo u and we won’t forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
God bless America . Thank you and good night. ”
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

* If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China .
* If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
* If we purchase a computer it will go to India.
* If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and/or Guatemala.
* If we purchase a “good” car it will go to Japan.
* If we purchase “useless crap” it will go to Taiwan ~~
* None of it will help the American economy~~!

We need to keep that money here in America . The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it at YARD SALES, since those are the only businesses still in the US

Adding a tax to your retirement is simply another way of saying to the

American people, you’re so stupid that we’re going to keep doing this until

we drain every cent from you. That’s what the Speaker of the House is

saying.

Read below……………

Nancy Pelosi wants a Windfall Tax on Retirement Income. You aren’t going

to believe this. Madam speaker Nancy Pelosi wants to put a Windfall Tax on

all stock market profits (including Retirement funds, 401Ks and Mutual

Funds!)Alas, it is true - all to help the 12 Million Illegal Immigrants

and other unemployed! Boy, are we in trouble… This woman is frightening.

She quotes..’ We need to work toward the goal of equalizing income in our

country and at the same time limiting the amount the rich

can invest. ‘When asked how these new tax dollars would be spent, she

replied:

‘We need to raise the standard of living of our poor, unemployed and

minorities. For example, we have an estimated 12 million illegal immigrants

in our country who need our help along with millions of unemployed

minorities. Stock market windfall profits taxes could go a long ways to

guarantee these people the standard of living they would like to have as

“Americans”

This is just plain wrong.

Don’t you think the correct solution is to remove the illegal imigrants.

It is an embarrassment to the world to be supposably the greastest country but can  not secure our own borders?

This is the reason  that the millions of illegals were made legal to save embarrasment.

Why should your retirement money pay for something which is illegal?

You are already losing money due to inflation as it does not keep up with interest rates.

Get rid of the 12 million and then there is absolutely no excuse for not having a job,in the event a person lost thier job they could replace it the next day,wouldn,t we have a great country to live in then?

I am also concerned with the illegals for security reasons,if 12 million made it here how many terrorists are here that are just sitting and waiting,if they want to use my money then do it to secure our country!

GET INVOLVED !!!!!!!!!!

Hot on the heels of his explanation for why he no longer wears a flag pin,
presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama was forced to explain why he
doesn’t follow protocol when the National Anthem is played.

According to the United States Code, Title 36, Chapter 10, Sec. 171,
During rendition of the national anthem when the flag is displayed, all present except
those in uniform are expected to stand at attention facing the flag with the
right hand over the heart.

“As I’ve said about the flag pin, I don’t want to be perceived as taking sides,”
Obama said. “There are a lot of people in the world to whom the American flag is a symbol of oppression. And the anthem itself conveys a war-like message.
You know, the bombs bursting in air and all. It should be swapped for something less parochial and less bellicose. I like the song ‘I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing.’ If that were our anthem, then I might salute it.”

This man does not respect our symbols of pride and freedom and
respect This man proposes to be the Commander-in-Chief of our Armed
Forces who fight for our flag and our veterans who have fought, died, been maimed, over the last 200+ years? I suspect that he also does not believe in the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag but yet when you see him making a speech on television (like
the recent Philadelphia race speech) he is surrounded by a backdrop of 10 or more American flags! He likes those props! You can assume from all this that he is a fake and a hypocrite.

Something is wrong and frightening here.

AND SOME PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY STILL THINK HE IS THE GREATEST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEIR HEADS?

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms.

He tells t he pharmacist it’s his first
time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about
condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. T he boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.

‘Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!’
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl’s parents are seated.

The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, ‘I had no idea you were this religious.

‘
The boy turns, and whispers back, ‘I had no idea
your father was a pharmacist

Does she look like a racist?

Yes.

Is she a racist?

Yes!

Is her husband a racist?

Yes,his choice of so called worship is proof of that.
In her senior thesis at Princeton, Michele Obama, the wife of Barack Obama stated that America was a nation founded on “crime and hatred”. Moreover, she stated that whites in America were “ineradicably racist”. The 1985 thesis, titled ‘Princeton-Educated Blacks and the Black Community’ was written under her maiden name, Michelle LaVaughn Robinson.

Michelle Obama stated in her thesis that to ‘Whites at Princeton, it often seems as if, to them, she will always be Black first…’ However, it was reported by a fellow black classmate, “If those ‘Whites at Princeton’ really saw Michelle as one who always would ‘be Black first,’ it seems that she gave them that impression”.

Most alarming is Michele Obama’s use of the terms “separationist” and “integrationist” when describing the views of black people.

Mrs. Obama clearly identifies herself with a “separationist” view of race. “By actually working with the Black lower class or within their communities as a result of their ideologies, a separationist may better understand the desperation of their situation and feel more hopeless about a resolution as opposed to an integrationist who is ignorant to their plight.”

Obama writes that the path she chose by attending Princeton would likely lead to her ‘further integration and/or assimilation into a white cultural and social structure that will only allow me to remain on the periphery of society; never becoming a full participant.’

Michele Obama clearly has a chip on her shoulder.

Not only does she see separate black and white societies in America, but she elevates black over white in her world.

Here is another passage that is uncomfortable and ominous in meaning:

“There was no doubt in my mind that as a member of the black community, I am obligated to this community and will utilize all of my present and future resources to benefit the black community first and foremost. ”

What is Michelle Obama planning to do with her future resources if she’s first lady that will elevate black over white in America?

The following passage appears to be a call to arms for affirmative action policies that could be the hallmark of an Obama administration.

“Predominately white universities like Princeton are socially and academically designed to cater to the needs of the white students comprising the bulk of their enrollments.”

The conclusion of her thesis is alarming.

Michelle Obama’s poll of black alumni concludes that other black students at Princeton do not share her obsession with blackness. But rather than celebrate, she is horrified that black alumni identify with our common American culture more than they value the color of their skin. “I hoped that these findings would help me conclude that despite the high degree of identification with whites as a result of the educational and occupational path that black Princeton alumni follow, the alumni would still maintain a certain level of identification with the black community. However, these findings do not support this possibility.”

Is it no wonder that most black alumni ignored her racist questionnaire? Only 89 students responded out of 400 who were asked for input.

Michelle Obama does not look into a crowd of Obama supporters and see Americans. She sees black people and white people eternally conflicted with one another.

The thesis provides a trove of Mrs. Obama’s thoughts and world view seen through a race-based prism.

This is a very divisive view for a potential first lady that would do untold damage to race relations in this country in a Barack Obama administration.

Michelle Obama’s intellectually refined racism should give all Americans pause for deep concern.

Now maybe she’s changed, but she sure sounds like someone with an axe to grind with America. Will the press let Michelle get a free pass over her obviously racist comment about American whites? I am sure that it will. But it shouldn’t.

There is only one reason anyone could like this racist or him and that is to be a racist!!

She is as bad off in the brain as her towel head wanna be husband!!!

If we are so bad then why don’t they take some of that cash and catch a cruise ship to Africa.

Interesting!

Be sure and read the message at the bottom!

Alabama 1901, Preamble

We the people of the State of Alabama , invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish the following Constitution.

Alaska 1956, Preamble

We, the people of Alaska, grateful to God and to those who founded our nation and pioneered this great land.

Arizona 1911, Preamble

We, the people of the State of Arizona, grateful to Almighty God for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution…

Arkansas 1874, Preamble

We, the people of the State of Arkansas, grateful to Almighty God for the privilege of choosing our own form of government…

California 1879, Preamble
We, the People of the State of California, grateful to
Almighty God for our freedom…

Colorado 1876, Preamble

We, the people of Colorado, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of Universe…

Connecticut 1818, Preamble

The People of Connecticut , acknowledging with gratitude the good Providence of God in permitting them to enjoy.

Delaware 1897, Preamble
Through Divine Goodness all men have, by nature, the rights of
Worshipping and serving their Creator according to the dictates of their consciences.

Florida 1885, Preamble

We, the people of the State of Florida, grateful to Almighty God
For our constitutional liberty, establish this Constitution…

Georgia 1777, Preamble

We, the people of Georgia, relying upon protection and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish this Constitution…

Hawaii 1959, Preamble

We, the people of Hawaii, Grateful for Divine Guidance …
Establish this Constitution.

Idaho 1889, Preamble

We, the people of the State of Idaho, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings…

Illinois 1870, Preamble

We, the people of the State of Illinois, grateful to Almighty God for the civil , political and religious liberty which He hath so long
Permitted us to enjoy and looking to Him for a blessing on our
Endeavors

Indiana 1851, Preamble

We, the People of the State of Indiana, grateful to Almighty
God for the free exercise of the right to choose our form of
Government….

Iowa 1857, Preamble

We, the People of the State of Iowa, grateful to the Supreme Being for the blessings hitherto enjoyed, and feeling our dependence on Him for a continuation of these blessings, establish this Constitution.

Kansas 1859, Preamble
We, the people of Kansas, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious privileges establish this Constitution.

Kentucky 1891, Preamble

We, the people of the Commonwealth are grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties…

Louisiana 192 1, Preamble

We, the people of the State of Louisiana , grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties we enjoy.

Maine 1820, Preamble
We the People of Maine acknowledging with grateful hearts the goodness of the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe in affording us an opportunity and imploring His aid and direction.

Maryland 1776, Preamble

We, the people of the state of Maryland, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberty…

Massachusetts 1780, Preamble

We…the people of Massachusetts, acknowledging with grateful hearts, the goodness of the Great Legislator of the Universe In the course of His Providence, an opportunity and devoutly imploring His direction .

Michigan 1908, Preamble

We, the people of the State of Michigan, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of freedom establish this Constitution.

Minnesota 1857, Preamble
We, the people of the State of Minnesota, grateful to God for our civil and religious liberty, and desiring to perpetuate its blessings:

Mississippi 1890, Preamble
We, the people of Mississippi in convention assembled, grateful to Almighty God, and invoking His blessing on our work.

Missouri 1845, Preamble

We, the people of Missouri, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, and grateful for His goodness, Establish this Constitution…

Montana 1889, Preamble

We, the people of Montana, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty establish this Constitution…

Nebraska 1875, Preamble

We, the people, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, establish this Constitution.

Nevada 1864, Preamble

We the people of the State of Nevada, grateful to Almighty
God for our freedom, establish this Constitution..

New Hampshire 1792,

Part I. Art. I. Sec. V
Every individual has a natural and unalienable right to worship God according to the dictates of his own conscience.

New Jersey 1 844, Preamble

We, the people of the State of New Jersey, grateful to Almighty God for civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors.

New Mexico 1911, Preamble

We, the People of New Mexico, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty..

New York 1846, Preamble

We, the people of the State of New York, grateful to Almighty
God for our freedom, in order to secure its blessings….

North Carolina 1868, Preamble

We the people of the State of North Carolina, grateful to Almighty God, the Sovereign Ruler of Nations, for our civil, political, and religious liberties, and acknowledging our dependence upon Him for the continuance of those…

North Dakota 1889, Preamble

We, the people of North Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, do ordain…

Ohio 1852, Preamble

We the people of the state of Ohio, grateful to Almighty God for
our freedom, to secure its blessings and to promote our common…

Oklahoma 1907, Preamble

Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessings of liberty, establish this

Oregon 1857, Bill of Rights, Article I, Section 2.
All men shall be secure in the Natural right, to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their consciences

Pennsylvania 1776, Preamble

We, the people of Pennsylvania, grateful to Almighty God for the
blessings of civil and religious liberty, and humbly invoking
His guidance…

Rhode Island 1842, Preamble

We the People of the State of Rhode Island grateful to Almighty God for the civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing…

South Carolina 1778, Preamble

We, the people of the State of South Carolina grateful to God for our liberties, do ordain and establish this Constitution.

South Dakota 1889, Preamble

We, the people of South Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberties,…

Tennessee 1796, Art. XI.III

That all men have a natural and indefeasible right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their conscience…

Texas 1845, Preamble

We the People of the Republic of Texas, acknowledging, with
gratitude, the grace and beneficence of God….

Utah1896, Preamble
Grateful to Almighty God for life and liberty, we establish this
Constitution.

Vermont 1777, Preamble

Whereas all government ought to enable the individuals who compose it to enjoy their natural rights, and other blessings which the Author of Existence has bestowed on man

Virginia 1776, Bill of Rights, XVI

Religion, or the Duty which we owe our Creator can be directed only by Reason and that it is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian Forbearance, Love and Charity towards each other

Washington 1889, Preamble
We the People of the State of Washington, grateful to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for our liberties, do ordain this
Constitution

West Virginia 1872, Preamble

Since through Divine Providence we enjoy the blessings of civil, political and religious liberty, we, the people of West Virginia reaffirm our faith in and constant reliance upon God ..

Wisconsin 1848, Preamble

We, the people of Wisconsin, grateful to Almighty God for our
freedom, domestic tranquility…

Wyoming 1890, Preamble

We, the people of the State of Wyoming, grateful to God for our
civil, political, and religious liberties, establish this Constitution..

After reviewing acknowledgments of God from all 50 state constitutions, one is faced with the prospect that maybe, the ACLU and the out -of-control federal courts are wrong! If you found this to be ‘Food for thought’ copy and send to as many as possible to enlighten others.

(Please note that at no time is anyone told that they MUST worship God.)

It is obvious that this great United States was founded on Godly principals! So what is our problem today?

GOD BLESS AMERICA

Mama Ain’t Playin’

Looks like Mama is going to make him stand out there for a long time!
Ought to be a pretty good lesson, one not easily forgotten!
He doesn’t look very happy.

Be sure to see all 3 pictures

Now this is a seriously strict mom

 Don’t mess with her

We need more Mom,s like this the slow down the little thieves

You are not aloud to spank the butt anymore due to the

liberal pieces of crap trying to run the world. Nothing irritates me more

than a thief. He need’s to wash his hair too for extra punishment.

But how much do you wanna bet they don’t have to live in a trailer?

Are you following me here?

NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

This is probably the best e-mail I’ve seen in a long, long time. The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. This guy should run for President one day…

“We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.”

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone — not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. (This one is my pet peeve…get an education and go to work….don’t expect everyone else to take care of you!)

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don’t care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (Lastly….)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country’s history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!

We are in a world we we like to define individuality for ourselves.Perhaps we just want to be the coolest stand out ,have the latest,or think we are a fake pimp.Whatever your reason for chooseing a custom ring tones usually falls within one of those categories.

A cell phone use to come packed with around 30 ring tones to fit  our needs.These pre packed ringtones are usually of clear quality and have certain frequencies to be heard from adjoining rooms,they also can easily be switched from one ring tone to another if you are in need of a more mellow ring tone such as in an office.

In todays date when you hear a cell phone ring it is usually a custom  ring. In general 97 percent of them suck, they sound like crap with 25 percent distortion. The speaker for the Phone is best to have the higher frequencies to provide to ringing sound. They do a fine job of that. What they do not do is good job of playing your drums for a ring. I often hear the lousy rings and do my best to hide myself wanting to bust out laughing.

The ring tones these people have could be turned down to improve the sound a little,but they choose not to. The fact is you are not going to be able to hear it when it is in the other room anyway. It is not a ring it is merely a little noise.Without the clear definition of any frequency from the ringer, the noise is not heard as a ring. Why do these people choose to have a ring that is retarded? Is it really that important to risk missing what can be an emergency call? How cool is your ring when it sounds like an overworked phonographic needle. How cool is your ring when everyone is having a normal conversation and you missed a call and it was in your pocket?

It is retarded to place form over function with a phone ringer.

Being able to recognize the ringing of a cell phone is what should come first, not your favorite song, leave that for the cd player they do a fine job of playing songs.

I have heard great after market ring tones, some of this can be accredited to the phone,the ring tone itself, and the source to where it was obtained,but for the sake of this article we are talking about the ringtones that need to be trashed and a default ringtone put back in its place(yes that means you).

But I want to be cool and have a custom ring tone? Then choose something that don’t sound like garbage and can be heard when your phone is in the other room!

ACDC Hell’s Bells is not going to do it,nor are 9 out of 10 other songs. Do not fool your self after listening to it it will not sound any better tomorrow,it will still sound like crap.

Well I have to have a custom ring tone dude,my phone is crap and so is the song,i cant hear it when it ring,I need advice. What you do in a situation such as that is to be sure it is set to vibrate too,then insert it into your anal cavity,you are sure to be alerted you have call.

Why do they offer all those ring tones then ? It is just something that caught on,much like the wheel. although the wheel was finished and became round. Most phone manufactures haven’t stepped up to provide what is needed to offer a phone actually usable for custom ring tones.

I am missing calls because I can’t get the phone out of my anal cavity fast enough what do I do?  Well you stop being a pervert and letting it ring to feel the vibration.

My baby’s Daddy put the ring tone on my phone I don’t want to hurt his feeling I have to keep it ? Well he don’t care about you he put it on there so you would miss calls from your new boyfriend, so fix it. He is smarter than you think.

I can hear my custom phone ring but won’t answer the phone until they sing the first verse and I am missing calls what do I do? Well you carefully decompile the song and reassemble it to play faster.

The anal trick aint working for me it turned sideways or something and got stuck,my butt is always chiming now from the missed calls any ideas? Well what you do is go to to Taco bell for supper and chase it with Coors beer,it will come out no problem.

My Brothers Daddy has Some gangsta music for his ring tone and people mock him,what do I say to him to let him know? Well you have to be careful with this one,you best bet is to let another family member handle such as one of the Daddy’s Babies.

This concludes the first segment to Ring Tone Mania.

A saddening occurrence has happened to a trailer trash boyfriend girlfriend pair.

Pam Babcock and Kory Mcfarren, are not your typical couple,the pair lived in a smelly trailer and had bizarre habits.

Kory was faced with the decision to call police after his girl friend become to disorientated to perform oral sex to him anymore.

Pam Babcock had been living in the bathroom for 2 years for two years,She suffers fear from childhood beatings,her mother died when she was young.She had been on the toilet for several weeks.

It is not known what triggered her to remain in the bathroom for the last 2 years.Kory had a day job and when returning home would bring her food and water and claimed to always plead with her to come out of the bathroom.The pair have been together for 16 years.

Kory exclaims they had a normal life as with any other pair which included sex.This explains why Mr. Kory was not in a hurry to get pam off the toilet,He could get some head and not have to worry about the rest.

Now before you say no way I am going to remind you that this is a true story.Pam began to develop sores on her legs.The leg and butt region is a rather large area,and with the sores oozzing and drying, she became attached to the toilet seat.

The toilet seat had to be pried from the toilet and go for the ride in the ambulance.Pam suffers now nerve damage to her legs from infection,she may never walk again.

The is talk back and forth about pressing charges against the man.This is a tough one.She is grown and can do what she wants,Police and health officials had a hard time getting her to agree to go to the hospital.

A neighbor claims to have not seen her for 6 years.It appears that within this 2 year time frame that someone would know about what is going on.It is not know as to whether the man allowed guests at the house.However a person would wonder how do you hide this for so long.

Reasoning tells us that others have to have known about this. Why was anyone not alerted to this? It appears that it was a choice to remain on the toilet on her part,but we as people tend to step up and help someone when their choices are often misguided.

Pam may end up in a wheelchair,due to the ordeal,this is very sad ordeal.

I am pretty easy going but after 2 or 3 days tops you are getting up off the toilet one way or the other this is my opinion,whether by force, a water hose or you make them come get their own food. Something has to give people.

So why did Kory Farren allow this to happen? Is he as mentally ill as her? He can run an antique store during the day. Is he just so laid back as to give her want she wants? Is Kory Farren just a sick pervert who enjoyed pam being on the toilet? Did he not want anything more from her that some head while she is on the toilet. Yes Kory in his sickened mind was taking advantage of this for as long as he could,for he is true trailer trash.Kory is a sick demonic pervert who gets his thrills anyway he can. It is guessed that Kory had a gleam in his eye when he heard pam will be in a wheelchair,but I do doubt if the great state of Kansas will let him care for her in the future.

Kory Farren, is a sick pervert,to take advantage of that situation as he did.Nothing from cats to racoons are safe from this mans perversions. Do not support Kory Farren,for he is a pervert,his thought of only himself let a woman with problems suffer emotionally and to the point to where serious physical damage occurred.Kory knew what he was doing,even a 10 year old would know to do something if someone will not get off the toilet.

Lets put our energy towards Pam. Pam needs help,Pam needs real love,not the exchange for services kind she was getting.

UPDATE APRIL 8TH

Kory Mcfarren has has charges press against him for sexual misconduct towards the neighbor girls.

It is reported that Kory would stand in front of the window and play with himself while the neighbors girls were out side,it had began as an occasional occurrence to a regular habit until action was taken.

This only goes to strengthen what is written in my article ,Kory is s sick pervert who was taking advantage of a mentally ill person.Let us hope that Pam pulls through this I will update when information becomes available.

Are you obese?

Are you heavy?

Do you waddle when you walk?

Are you a fat hog?

Are you a lazy bum?

Beached whale?

Look nasty?

Gross?

Fat and ugly?

Are you a worthless fat ass?

What constitutes being to fat?

If you have a little gut, a few extra pounds .maybe big legs or something, get over it already you are not fat you are just you. We all tend to collect our lard differently.

Does any of the following apply to you? Then you are a fat lazy ass.

Steering wheel hit your gut?

Can’t see your shoes without leaning forward?

Refer to yourself as big and beautiful?

Can’t find a toilet seat that fits right?

Can’t get up off the couch without making a noise?

Do people use you for shade in the summer?

Do your shoes wear funny?

Do the inner thighs of your jeans tend to wear out?

Does your compact car seem to be down on power?

Will your ass not fit in a plastic lawn chair?

Is your belly button shaped like a funnel?

Do your breasts go into your armpits?

Has a bill board company ever offered you a free T-shirt?

Can’t use a pogo stick?

Does a Hoola Hoop tend to stay under your armpits?

Is tying your shoe a days activity?

Have you ever found yourself with Google maps?

Does your mother tell you that you have big bones?

Are your children scared of you?

Does water go over the side of the pool when you dive in?

Do people gather around you at sea world?

Do you have your own booth at Golden Coral?

Does getting a custom made suit require the tailor to take you to the drapery department?

Does getting a tattoo on your back require an extension pole?

Have you ever had yourself checked for mad cow disease?

Do people often refer to you as jolly?

When you fart the price of gas goes down?

If you said yes to any of the above then you are a genuine fat ass so read on.

The following article is a tough love type of article, you may feel offended, mad, or what have you, and give yourself a reason to go grab another chocolate pie.

Weight gain can be caused also by medical reasons other than from just too much food. This is usually accompanied with other symptoms other than your steering wheel rubbing your gut. This article is meant to deal with just being plain fat.

“Some people can eat all they want and not have to worry about if they gain weight.” That statement is true and false.

Fact some people have more lead way than others as to how much they can eat before they gain weight. Some people can sing other can’t. Some people can shoot basketball others can’t. My point you don’t have the lead way with food that some have. I hesitated to make the previous statement because you may use it for another excuse.

The reason for being fat is because you eat more than you burn, it is that simple!!

You can lose weight if you stop making lame excuses and just do it. It is not going to be fun. Well I am here to tell you that there is not one fun weight loss program out there, not one.

Let me stress why to lose weight. Your long term health. Such as knees, heart, the usual. You have heard it all before so I will not drive it into the ground.

People smoke it is hard to beat. People smoke pot is hard to beat. People drink it is hard to beat. The choice is do you want to beat it.

No you do not, you want to convince yourself that you tried but it didn’t work. You tried this you tried that but nothing worked. You didn’t stick it out that is why it didn’t work.

When you are shoving a chocolate pie in your face nothing else matters. Do you remember Evil Knevil? When he was riding nothing else mattered. Evil rode with broken bones. Why? Because nothing else mattered. The people than run the marathons make it because nothing else matters when they are in that zone.

When you are eating a pizza and a large bowl of ice cream nothing else matters. You are content it tastes, good you are doing what you want to do it is your high.What stopped evil from riding? Old age that’s what. What stops the runners from running? Old age. If you continue to be in your zone while shoving your face full then only old age will stop you.

Your being fat is not a condition it is a bad habit that has you in this condition.

Your being fat is from lack of exercise, and too much food, You already know this? So your problem is you aren’t doing anything about it.

Truth is there is absolutely no reason what so ever for you to be fat. None.

When is the last time you saw a 400 pound jogger? Never that’s right because they don’t jog. When the last time you saw a 400 pounder digging a ditch? They don’t. It’s a catch 22 they don’t because they can’t, and they can’t because they don’t. Do you see the pattern?

Lets take a small history course .Lets go back to the cave man days. Let’s say you weigh 400 pounds and try to chase down a wild boar and spear it. Not going to happen is it, that is simple, so you never get that big. Lets go back 200 years ago. Lets say you get so fat that you cant plant crops, chase cattle and the other required activities needed to exist, you eat less and don’t end up a big sweat hog it’s that simple.

Let’s take the army, Have you ever seen a 450 pound soldier. Nope. Why not? Because they aren’t lazy fat asses. They might want to be yes, but as long as they are in the army it isn’t going to happen.

Have you seen a 500 pound brick layer? Nope? You get the idea.

There is no excuse for being fat, do not expect anyone to feel sorry for you, you are the one that shoved that food in your mouth, Modern food tastes good, there can’t be an argument there. Nothing tops the day other than a double fudge ice cream after a couple hams, a pizza, few potatoes, and a loaf of bread after watching your favorite soap operas .If you want to eat it then you have to go burn it. It’s that simple!

You can be short.

You can be ugly.

You can be tall.

You can be stupid.

Those things you can not change, but you can change your weight.

You don’t have big bones like your mothers says, you are fat, jump on the scale if you cant see the numbers then you are a lazy fat ass.

You may not have always been a lazy fat ass, but once you get so big you will become one because it is uncomfortable to do anything .Rome wasn’t built in a day and losing that lard won’t happen in a day either.

Perhaps you lost weight just to get the habit back and gain it all over again. Why? You only needed a reason whether it be your spouse done this or that or your poodle won’t stop pissing on the carpet. Perhaps you found out everyone is still an asshole whether you are skinny or fat.

Its takes determination to lose the weight, so you figure you have been good and are entitled to have feasting frenzies and you are back where you started. Others do it for a form of self punishment, perhaps they are not as accomplished as they want to be so it is easier to blame it on their weight.

‘I don’t hardly eat a thing and I just blowup.” Bull crap you can not convert air into lard.

“Those diet plans do not work.” You are correct, they do not.

You have to have your own plan, you will then succeed, additionally I will add do not torture yourself then begin to feast again, the first month is the hardest then it is a piece of cake(oops sorry about that) after that. You don’t need any dumb diet plan, you know you eat to much and that is where the problem is.

How much weight do you need to lose? 50 pounds? 100 pounds?

Do not go for a little at a time, there are no small steps here. We pick our target and go to it. The length of time to reach your target weight depends on the amount of reserve you are storing on your body.

The faster we do this the better off we are for many reasons. You don’t have to buy as many clothes during this process, this saves you money, this gives you extra money to be good to your self with other things, for the price of a pair of jeans to just not to fit anymore can get expensive, so we take the weight off fast. Another important reason is we see results when we hit the scale this is the most important one .People praise us for losing lard, people will see it.

You have the opportunity to become a lean mean machine. All that abuse at the buffet has a bonus. You ask “what is that you make no sense.” I will tell you why, now your fat ass gets the benefit of working out just by moving around. Example let me strap 75 pounds on me and leave it there everything I do I will be packing the 75 pounds, this will strengthen you quickly. The backpack will be gone you will be strong, feel good, and not tire easily. Therefore the fatter you are the better, if you weigh 425 now you can become a lean mean 225 pound ass kicking machine ,who is use to packing 200 pounds around.

You have energy to burn right now and it don’t cost a dime. The problem is it is not fun packing this lard around.

Lets get started with some math. The equation is approx. 3500 calories is equal to 1 pound. Eat 3500 calories more than you burn and you have gained a pound. The other side of the coin is for every 3500 caloies you burn and don’t eat then you lose a pound. STOP do not close this page these sound like high numbers but they are not. You burn about 80 calories an hour just sleeping. Sitting and awake will raise the number to about 150 for an overly weight person at 400 pounds. Walking will burn about 400 calories an hour. The bigger you are the more you burn because you are carrying more.

You don’t have to run! You don’t have to Jog! You don’t have to chop wood! You do have to get off your fat ass however and do something. Walking around the house is the best way to start. Sweeping will burn a fair mount. Now we have an acceptable exercise program. Sleep 8 hours, walk 2 hours, around the house sit up the rest and going the bathroom 3 times a day brushing teeth shower ect and we have 3500 calories see how easy that was!

Basically if we did not eat we would lose 1 pound a day!!!! That is fast!!!! More if we ran jogged or rode a bike but lets keep it simple and doable.

The diet plan, morning breakfast is good strong coffee the regular kind we are after the stimulant===coffee is the key here to losing weight .How? It curbs the craving for food ,yes you can put sugar in it but no creamer. Sugar is not as bad a villain as you think coming in at only 16 calories a spoon or cube. In other words an entire box of sugar cubes is only half of what you are going to be burning in a day doing no more than walking around the house a little. You do that already but I want you to do it some more. DO NOT overdue any exercise or you will become hungry. You are going to live on sugared coffee all day. Sugar is ok! Got it.

Take a good multi vitamin every morning. Drink coffee all day. Do drink water periodically through the day as coffee can dehydrate you. This is a must? Be sure to include water, Now for a bonus lets make that cold water from the fridge or ice water. Why because it takes a lot of fuel for your body to warm it up that is why, and you done nothing but drink ice water!!

We are going to have something to eat, you are saying my diet plan sucks big time. Yes you get to eat —before you go to bed. What do you eat you ask ? Cereal with milk .This is because you do need some protein, milk has it and peanuts have it. Cereal also has nutrients .The kind isn’t really not that important but do switch to different types such as corn flakes, shredded wheat, cheerio type. Can I put sugar on it? Damn straight you can, you deserve it, your cereal is however or whatever kind you want. This to be eaten 4 nights a week before bed time. The 3 remaining days you eat lean turkey. No bread just turkey. 5 to 7 slices with a chase of milk.

How much cereal do I get to have? 2 cups of cereal with one cup of milk. That does not sound like a lot. Measure it out with a real measuring cup they are larger than coffee cups. This turns out to be a big bowl of cereal with milk and sugar.

Important points YOU HAVE TO DRINK COFFEE because it is the stimulant. If you can not drink 2 or 3 pots of coffee a day then get caffeine pills. Then you must drink sweet tea or Koolaid or whatever. Failure to have the caffeine will result in the body slowing its calorie burn rate, which means when you have reached your target you will have trouble keeping it there.

The above diet is based for 300 pound diet weight. If you weigh more the INCREASE your intake slightly if you weigh less then DECRAESE you intake slightly.

Every 9 days cut your coffee in half and eat healthy foods which are low in fat but do not exceed 2400 calories, choose high protein foods during this day and stay away from fat. Adjust slightly as explained above if you are over 300 pounds or under 300 pounds.

“How much weight do I lose with your plan?” Are you ready? 23 pounds a months, more if you include mild exercise.

Wow!!

“But what if I do not want to lose it so fast?” Then you are copping out already that is what, so don’t even bother.

To lose your weight you have to make that decision to just do it. It is not near as miserable as you think the sweet coffee plays a very important role

Bonus! Unbuttered Popcorn is ok.3 or 4 handfuls a couple times a week.

When do you start? As soon as you go ahead and eat whatever is in your fridge that will spoil, waiting 2 or 3 days won’t hurt you any.

“Everything I look at is starting to look like a ham what do I do?” Drink your sweetened coffee as instructed.

“I am so sick of coffee I want to quit”. Gradually decrease your coffee intake to a pot a day over a 3 day period, if your hunger is staved off then just remain at a pot a day.

100 days later

“What do I do with the huge jeans that don’t fit anymore? ”Stuff a coupe bales of straw in them and make a nasty looking scarecrow.

“I can’t keep the chicks off me dude what do I do? ”Send me a personal e-mail with some pics. I will see what I can do

“My husband wants to have sex all the time now what do I do?” Give it to him.

‘You turned my life around how can I ever repay you?’ You don’t, you teach my system to someone in need.

“My boss has been flirting now and wanting sex what do I do, do I sleep with him?” No! You manipulate more money out of him.

‘How do I keep the weight off now that I have reached my target” You give yourself a zone 5 pounds either way from your target. Adjust your diet with your activities, if you get out of your zone take care of the problem right now. Go back to my system for 3 days and lose 2 pounds while it is very easy to accomplish, then slowly work your way back to your target.Do not ever get more than 1 pound out of your target. Example your target is 185 –as long as you are between 180 and 190 all is fine,when you hit 191 got back to my plan for 3 days to be back down to 189 then slowly work your way back to 185.The key here is to just do it while it is easy.

Eat sugars to curb appetite, stay away from fats.

Now that you are in shape again pick up a hobby it does not have to be tiring ,just something burn a few once in a while.

Eat sweets before your main meal this will curb your appetite.

Good luck.

The original news source is news week.

This is an excellent article so If you don’t have doubts about Obama perhaps this will help you wake up.

I hesitated to bring the mans wife into this matter but after some thought I decided it is proper.

Who we marry is a reflection of us.

This is not a brother or sister who he has no control over ,but a man does have control as who you wed.Simple!

Background check - Mrs. Obama

Michelle Obama, wife of Democrat frontrunner Barack Obama, shocked a lot of people recently when she said this: “For the first time in my adult lifetime I am proud of my country.” Wow! That takes my breath away.

Mrs. Obama is 44 years old, so for over roughly 24 years of “adulthood,” taking her at her word, she has never
been proud of our nation.

Is there a theme here? You may remember that last year Senator Obama said he refused to wear a flag lapel pin because it represented a “substitute for true patriotism.” And what precisely is true patriotism? According to Senator Barack Hussein Obama, it is opposing the war in Iraq.

Apparently nothing America did from 1982 to 2008 caused her heart to swell with pride. Not our successful effort
to defeat Soviet communism and liberate millions of people in Eastern Europe? Not our relief efforts around the world, through which we spent billions to help the downtrodden?

Not anything? When she learned with all the rest of us how her fellow citizens on United Flight 93 bravely fought back against jihadist hijackers and prevented another disaster on September 11th, did she not fill up with pride?

As Americans of all races and classes rallied together in defense of our nation in the aftermath of September 11th, did her spirit not jump with love for her homeland? Apparently not.

The Obamas are living examples of the American Dream. Both Michelle Obama and her husband have Ivy League
degrees. They make a joint income of over One Million Dollars a year. They live lives that most ordinary Americans
can only dream of.

Yet, Mrs. Obama, who wants to be First Lady, has been unable to find the pride in America that millions of ordinary Americans feel every day.

Sadly, her attitude is not rare among leftwing American elites. We are “educating” millions of Americans to be Globalists first and foremost, and we are doing precious little about educating our children to be Proud and Unashamed Americans.

**The Obamas are flying high politically right now, but I don’t believe many Americans will want to cast their votes this November for a couple so out of touch with traditional American values.**

“For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country,” Michelle Obama…..”What she meant was, this is the first time that she’s been proud of the politics of America,” Barack Obama

HOWEVER, nowhere in there does she leave space for, allude to, or specify a reference to American politics.

She’s a Princeton and Harvard educated lawyer, and she can’t specify between her country and its politics???

ALSO, “Why Is Michelle Obama’s Princeton Thesis *Restricted* Until November 5th”?

1985 Princeton senior Thesis entitled: “Princeton-Educated Blacks and the Black Community,”

http://libweb5.princeton.edu/theses/thesesid.asp?ID=9867

Princeton University Senior Theses Full Record

TITLE: Princeton Educated Blacks and the Black Community [Restricted until November 5, 2008] (96 pages).

AUTHOR: Michelle LaVaughn Robinson (1985), Sociology Department ADVISOR: Not available

LOCATED AT: Mudd Library.

Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama lamented that white professors and classmates always saw her as “Black first and a student second.” She had surveyed alumni to see whether they sacrificed their commitment to other blacks on the altar of success, and foresaw for herself an uneasy future: “further integration and/or assimilation into a White cultural and social structure that will only allow me to remain on the periphery of society; never becoming a full participant.”…

As Michelle Obama wrote in her thesis introduction, “My experiences at Princeton have made me far more aware of my ‘Blackness’ than ever before. I have found that at Princeton no matter how liberal and open-minded some of my White professors and classmates try to be toward me, I sometimes feel like a visitor on campus; as if I really don’t belong.”…

Michelle Obama was guided in her choice of thesis topic by a consuming concern that her success might compromise her black identity. As she wrote in her conclusion: “I wondered whether or not my education at Princeton would affect my identification with the Black community. I hoped that these findings would help me conclude that despite the high degree of identification with Whites as a result of the educational and occupational path that Black Princeton alumni follow, the alumni would still maintain a certain level of
identification with the black community. However, these findings do not support this possibility.”…

Michelle Obama’s fears of losing touch with her roots without ever being embraced into the mainstream led her to promise, in her thesis introduction, “to actively utilize my resources to benefit the Black community.”

Her thesis is the ONLY one on the 449-result long list *restricted until a specific date: November 5th*.

What’s the significance of November 5th? Well, it’s a Wednesday. Oh, and it’s the day after the General Election… !!!!!!

Please forward this to all your friends, does not matter what party they belong to…it’s important that we all know the real background of the Obama’s…

Several Trips have been made following her in remote areas only to find that she was cruising the gravel roads to get high.

Recently I was out in the country and was trying to find a house that had Corvette for sale,and happened to run arcoss Britney Spears hitting her bong on the side of the road.

At first arrival I did not know it was Britney Spears,I though I was driving up on someone in need of car repair or the like.

When I walked up to the car I was greeted by a giggling Britney Spears,who swung open the door and offered a crotch shot.When Britney saw that I didn’t have a camera she seemed disappointed.

I commented to her that I not interested in a picture of a croth that doesn’t have a camel toe,she turned bright red and become slightly hostile.I was able to calm her down in a couple minutes.

I went to my Jeep and grabbed a bottle of cheap vodka I keep for special ocassions,returned to Britney’s Spears car..Britney lit up and began to smile.She was happier that Pamela Anderson at a rock concert.

I popped open the bottle and we had a few drinks.Britney began to loosen up and tell me more of persona life.She began to tell me of her hide away where she has her husband and children which are unknown to the public.

I had her buzzed enough to agree to show this hideaway,so she agreed to let me follow her there as the family was waiting for her.

I followed Britney to her hide away and have below an exclusive picture showing Britney with the family.

What constitutes being a towelhead? It’s a way of life, is it a wearing a towel on your head, is a being from the Middle East, answers to this are yes and no.

Are you a true blooded American? Are you a liberal piece of  crap? Do you know what a liberal is? Do you know what a Republican or Democrat is? How about a left-wing, or many of the other so-called parties we have today? Why don’t we just make towel head party included as one as well? If you vote for Obama than you are voting for the towel head party it is as simple as that. Obama is a victim of being subjected to the ways of the Middle East as a young child that was taught upon him, the hating of the Western civilization. There was much fear by his mother due to him being part black that he may be executed and so they sent him back to the states. Obama cried feverishly the next few years trying to get back to the way of life that was taught upon him by the Middle Eastern ways in hating Western civilization. His mother would not let him return to the Middle East due to fear of him being executed by the Taliban and other various parties. He has gone back to the Middle East on various occasions even disregarding his mother’s advice. For you see Obama is safe to travel to and from the Middle East as he desires for he has a foot in the politics of the United States of America. He has proven to his higher ups of this devotion to the Middle Eastern way of life. He has proven that he can be an asset to them by gaining presidency of the United States of America. He has previously proven through determination and willpower to this in the Senate. He is finally getting what he thinks is respect within the Middle Eastern area.

What Obama does not know is that he is a sucker. Obama will be used and abused by the Middle East only for the purpose of destroying Western civilization and he will be tossed aside like a rag doll perhaps executed himself for he leads a double life see he is a traitor to the Middle East in their eyes that he is an asset to them at this time. It’s been a long and troubling road for Obama. Obama is stuck in the middle but not in the Middle East, and why not because he lives in Illinois. Why does Obama frequent traveling to the Middle East, any other American placing foot on Middle Eastern soil will be decapitated upon arrival not Obama, Obama is of value to the Middle East.The Middle East is doing the best they can for Obama to obtain presidency,they are filtering funds, millions of dollars for his campaigns. There is great possibility, he could win the presidency in the United States of America, based solely upon the other choices are not that great as to who is running for the presidency of the United States. Is your vote going to be based upon who you vote for or who you vote against? Your vote does count it is beyond me and many others, as to how there is even a remote possibility that Obama has made it as far as he has. The reason being is the other choices plainly suck. So what are you to? The answer is you do not vote for that Middle Eastern loving son of a blank, for he is a towel head, any true blooded American will not go visit the Middle East for pleasure to visit family, to visit friends unless you are one of them, if you have any loyalty love or anything of any nature of all for your country than how can you go to the Middle East when there is a war when Americans get decapitated, when their feet first set on Middle Eastern soil. Try letting Bill or Hillary Clinton set foot on their Middle Eastern soil. Try letting any other Senate member or anyone from America set foot over there and you are in big big trouble. If Obama was not prominent in the Middle East he would surely be kidnapped and held for ransom, possibly tortured, just like anyone else who is American would set foot on soil over there.

I have seen many churches, many preachers, many pastors, and all my time I have yet to have heard one preacher or pastor exclaim , God damn the United States of America. Any real preacher or pastor would not use God’s name in vane for starters. I have yet to have heard any preacher any pastor proclaiming that 911 was justified. Obama’s favorite church believes that it was, it should also be noted that the same preacher was on Obama’s campaign merely only to be removed because what was said by him for all of America to hear that was a great slip up on the preacher’s part. It should be noted that in addition to the wrong teachings of the children in the Middle East to hate Western civilization, that a foothold in America with the Middle Eastern teachings, are also gaining popularity in United States of America.

How can Obama or any other person calling themselves a true blooded American frequent a church with these teachings and beliefs. I will tell you why because Obama is a piece of crap terrorist loving towel head , plain and simple. If you for even a moment consider voting for this towel head, piece of  crap then you yourself are a liberal piece of crap! It is true that Hillary herself may not be a good choice, but if you will remember back in the Clinton era that there was an honest effort by Bill and Hillary to do what was said regarding their promises during the campaigns. It is known that all your politicians lie, and do whatever is necessary to gain popularity and to gain votes. It should be noted that the Clinton campaign did in fact make an effort to provide the promises made to the public after vote into office, fact, no other presidency has ever offered to fulfill the promises made to the public, what was said to gain popularity. What is Obama promising? Answer, the same as all the others before him have promised. If you were to have received any of the promises ever made by any presidency then the new presidential candidates would not have to make these same new promises, simple. This has been going on for centuries.

So I ask you, would you rather vote for a towel head piece of crap, a woman, or the yet another idiot who’s running for office? Answer, not really any good choices is there.

I would rather vote for a woman or a blooming idiot before I would remotely consider voting for a towel head. How did the towel head make it so far? I cannot answer that.

It sickens me to see protesters standing on a street corner screaming how evil we are and how big a piece of waste we are over to the Middle East, the antiwar pieces of crap. Let’s let these liberal people watch some are these videos where poor innocent Americans getting their heads chopped off with hunting knives. But if we don’t have the thermostat set between 70 and 72° for any of those full-fledged killing machines over there and we are just plumb evil  aren’t we. I’m starting to stray away from the subject I need to get back to Obama.

War is not fun war, is not a pleasure cruise wars are meant to win. You cannot win a war and keep everybody in the public happy at the same time. You will always continue to have your liberals stirring crap, who are out trying to gain some recognition. It appears the Liberals have more love for the people of the Middle East than they do for their own people in the United States of America I believe it should always be said throughout history remember New York City and that’s to continue on and should never die.

There are people out there screaming remember New York City, the voices are not heard, why, because the press is run by the liberal way of thinking. It is the liberal way of thinking which is slowly destroying us.

There was a time when liberals were considered to be ignorant troublemakers and what have you. In today’s day and age liberal thinking has gained a foothold in everything. The last 15 to 20 years all major major decisions have been based upon this liberal way of thinking.

For god sakes people are not even voting for a liberal, he is a towel head, a terrorist, a person who was raised during his younger childhood to hate the way of Western civilization. This cannot be taken away from him nor do we expect it to be. Obama refuses to having a discussion as to what the teachings or what he had learned while he was in the school learning the teachings to hate the Western civilizations. Obama has never not once nor will he ever exclaim that their teachings are wrong, and he does not believe in them.(Humm) Obama always tends to fall back with I also went to a Catholic school. Let me rest assure you that over in the Middle East and you will not find any Catholic school there and we know our Catholic schools here, plain and simple. If you want to keep your head and not be executed on the main street you will not have the Catholic way of thinking over there as we know it in the United States. Simple!

These same people shoot the women for not covering thier faces ok.

Let us return to the roots of the towel head Obama once again. Let me reflect on to as what has been stated earlier in this article . He was exposed at an early childhood to the Middle Eastern religion which is solely based upon to hate Western civilization. Do you hold this against him? Is it worth the chance! Let me continue on, it is safe to say that the entire Obama family is tied up in the Middle East. This is evidenced by the boy’s mother marrying one and departing to the Middle East, therefore any given time if we were to imagine that it is possible for a moment for Obama not to be a towel head, that his mother, or any other family member, could be kidnapped and Obama could be manipulated. Why in the world would you be willing to risk such a thing? Once a towel head always a towel head I’ve said it before I’ll say it again. There is only one possible reason could you ever even consider to vote for Obama, ignorance? If you are even considering voting for the towel head think to yourself for a minute. Think one thing positive that could be gained from it. All throughout history, taxes have been promised to have been lowered,as well as all the other promises. Result, they continue to climb just as it always will. Your vote therefore for the presidency of the United States needs to be based upon what is good for you to be able to continue the American way of living. I don’t believe for a minute that you can continue to live your American way of living after having a small dose of plutonium going off within a few hundred miles of you.

Do you know that there is enough missing plutonium over in the Middle East to make 25 warheads?This is enough to wipe out the planet several times over.

Did You know that there have been many Russian scientists kidnapped who were involved in making nuclear weapons, by people from the Middle East.

I ask you what do you think that the Russian scientists are being kidnapped for? For money, not hardly.

Russia and America agreed to disassemble our nuclear weapons, and doing so warheads end up in the upon the black market, these end up in the wrong hands that’s a fact of life.

America cannot take the risk at all with having a presidency ran by a towel head. You would not want a child molester for a bus driver for your children, it’s the same thing. You would not want a thief to watch our house for you would you, it is the same thing. You cannot use these liberal ideals at this time.

Do you know of any towel head lovers. I sure hope not. Do you know of any uneducated liberals, I bet you know plenty. Well quite frankly, it is your under educated liberal type people who end up voting for the towel head lovers.
We are the United States and have always been good to all countries.I remember in the late 70s and early 80s at that time we had many many students from the Middle East going to our colleges and our high schools. The United States will stick out its hand in an effort to expose the Middle Eastern countries to the Western way of civilization. Well where do they get us? They got us nowhere other than the fact that the Middle East had gained a little more knowledge of how to strike us. For now some of these students who went to our schools and our colleges are in prominent positions which pertain to finances and security of the United States of America. That is where your liberalism  will get you.

I tend to be getting off topic but is only to stress the importance of who we have in office for the United States of America Presidential position. Once a towel head always a towel head I will remind you again, simple. You can take the towel off of the boy, but you cannot take the towel out of the boy.

So where do we stand at now. Obama’s family are basically more Middle East than are American it’s that simple. His own mother ran off with a towel head to go to the Middle East while he was a child. Oh went to school in the Middle East to learn about the ways of hating Western civilization. Obama did in not go to any Catholic schools, for however short of time he claims it may have been, there are no Catholic schools in the Middle East, any partaking of anything that shows anything to do with Western civilization will end you up decapitated. Mr. Obama goes to church that he has gone to for several years in the United States, whose preacher stated God damn the United States of America and we deserved 911. This preacher was on Obama’s committee until he stated this publicly. I will say that the preacher at least has more backbone than Obama, stated truthfully what he actually believes in, unlike the waste product towel head that Obama is, and will try to convince you that he is a Catholic and other times Christian.  We can say this is not your everyday Catholic Church now is it. It does not sound like it is Cristian at all. So, what kind of church is Obama going to? Perhaps there is no label to actually describe it. One thing is for sure they will say god damn United States of America and we deserved 911.

Additionally it is a well-known fact that Obama’s good friend, has direct ties with the Middle East. If Obama’s best friend was associated with the top drug dealers of the world would you vote for him then. No. So why should any consideration, be given to him, to run for the office of the President of the United States of America?

Let us take a further example. Let’s say you have a neighbor, whose mother married and fled for the Middle East, this child while in the Middle East learned the teachings of the hating of Western civilization. This child refuses to discuss the teachings that he learned while in the Middle East, because he knows how open a whole new area of debate. A debate which will bring about further questions that he cannot answer. The same child still practices what he was talking in the Middle East. Proven by his selection of the Church and the friends he chooses to keep. Additionally traveling to the Middle East for the purpose of his in either business or pleasure. So are their direct ties to the Middle East with Obama, this is not known for sure. Although it does not look good however.

To summarize, the only possible reason you ever have to go for Obama would be for the reason to be voting for someone else, do not go for Obama only for the reason to be voting against the other candidates. Do not vote for this man merely because he is black, I have been seeing a growing trend recently to give it a black man a chance. Once a towel head always a towel head. If this man were white, and was tied into the Middle East as he is now, there is no remote possibility whatsoever, that Obama would have any substantial gain in popularity whatsoever. But we as Americans do tend to reach out to sometimes be underprivileged, the poor, minority, and give them a fair chance at what they deserve.

Every American deserves a fair chance. Obama had many many chances, by chance he chose to go along with Middle East. You can not love the Middle East, you cannot frequent a church that hates America, quotes God damn United States of America and America deserved 911. That is not a church that is a cult. It doesn’t sound Catholic, Baptist, Jehovah Witness ,Advent or any other labeling of any church that we are familiar with.

People you have to go out and vote. People who usually do not vote are going to be out of voting. All of your minorities will be voting for Obama. America is a great deal of minorities together. The black community itself makes up roughly 14% when you add up a few points of other minorities here and there you end up with a substantial percentage. When you add up your war haters the percentage has increased. When you add up the people who will not vote for a woman the percentage has increased again. When you add your others,who will vote for Obama for whatever other reasons, we have a serious issue in our hands.

Slap your friends,neighbors,family do whatever you feel is needed to wake them up!!

I received this one in an Email for you star trek guys.

Let us suppose that the Enterprise is doing some sort of research mission to an unknown planet. I think the Captains Log would be worth a look: Captain’s Log, Stardate 54324.5: Starfleet Command has directed the Enterprise to do a preliminary exploration of planet — in advance of a full research team. Scanners report the atmosphere to be breathable, but are receiving confusing readings with regard to life forms. I am beaming down with a landing party composed of all our chief officers except for poor Scotty. Supplemental-1: Redshirt Riley has received a head injury, apparently while exploring under a high rock shelf. He reports only hearing a loud sound and jumping before being struck. After examination by Dr. McCoy he has been judged capable of continuing duty. Supplemental-2: We have encountered an alien creature on this planet. While it does not itself seem menacing, an unfortunate occurrence took place when it was present. Specifically, on my orders Lt. Sulu withdrew his phaser. The creature disappeared leaving a puff of smoke, immediately following which a loud noise was heard next to Sulu. Sulu fired, hitting Ens. Chekov. Oddly enough, although Sulu’s weapon was set to stun, Chekov was also covered with a black powder similar to soot. Mr. Chekov has been sent back to the ship for examination and quarantine. Stardate 54326.2, Mr. Spock reporting: Tricorder readings indicate that the creature we encountered earlier is constantly moving at great speed over the surface of the planet. We have encountered the creature once again. In an attempt to slow the creature for study, I attempted to fire on it. The creature, however, appeared to move faster than the phaser beam. Regretfully, the beam struck an outcropping of rock above the Captain’s head, causing it to break off and fall. Although it appears that several tons of rock fell squarely on the Captain, he was driven straight into the ground but apparently not seriously injured, though stunned. The Captain has been beamed up to Sick bay, leaving me in command of the research party. Captain’s Log, Stardate 54342.1: The creature is still at large on the planet surface. While Mr. Spock continues to lead a research party I am currently at work with Mr. Scott on an Acme Pressure Cooker for our lab, for when the creature is finally apprehended. Captain’s Log, Stardate 54342.3: The strange occurrences that have dogged the landing party since our arrival at this planet have led me to believe that the creature is in some way directly responsible for them. Mr. Chekov and I have both been declared fit for return to duty, though Dr. McCoy has entered in his medical log that he feels we should be kept under observation. Mr. Spock has constructed a device which he suspects should be able to counteract the creature’s incredible speed as follows: We have placed dish of birdseed out in the open, with several signs pointing to it. This dish is atop a cleverly concealed trap door, which will open when any weight falls on it. The creature will then travel a slide, eventually being deposited in a cage constructed of sheets of transparent aluminum. We will then be free to analyze it at our leisure. Meanwhile, I have forbidden all beaming down to the surface of the planet except on my or Mr. Spock’s direct order. Captain’s Log, supplemental: The plan failed. The creature was indeed lured by the birdseed, as expected. It sped to the dish, consumed the bait, and sped off without setting the trap. Mr. Spock is as puzzled as I, and has begun tests to discover the flaw in the design. I have sent out three search parties to see if we can box the creature in, one headed by Mr. Sulu, one by Mr. Chekov, and one by Sociologist Xontel. Captain’s Log, stardate 54342.8: Sociologist Xontel has been temporarily incapacitated. In pursuing the creature, he and his men somehow managed to cross the place where Mr. Spock’s trap was set just as he completed the corrections to it. The trap was sprung, and all four of my men were suspended for a moment in mid-air, puzzled, just before they fell into the cage we constructed. We are now trying to release them with phasers, as the lock was inadvertently smashed by the impact from Sociologist Xontel’s foot as he fell. I consider this a major setback. Mr. Spock considers it “fascinating.” Captain’s Log, stardate 54343.4: In an all-out attempt to stop the creature once and for all, I have had a phaser rifle beamed down from the Enterprise. The creature has behaved in an extremely cunning manner, yet I am unsure whether this is a sign of actual intelligence. Lt. Uhura has been unsuccessful in her attempts to raise Starfleet Command. Meanwhile, Mr. Scott informs me that our dilithium crystals are deteriorating at an alarming rate. He has jury rigged a system that will prevent the decay for a time, but it is imperative that we find new crystals soon. Captain’s Log, supplemental: Mr. Sulu reports high energy tricorder reading from an area of the planet in which the creature has not yet been sighted. He has taken a small party, including Mr. Spock, to the high-elevation spot from which the readings emanate. I have begun to analyze the creatures movements. It seems to travel consistently over a set path. Perhaps we can corner it in a tunnel it seems to pass through frequently. Captain’s Log, stardate 54344.7: Mr. Sulu has located a cache of Acme dilithium crystals atop a high cliff. Regretfully, while collecting them, the edge of the cliff broke off, and he and Mr. Spock plummeted several hundred feet to the ground below. Strangely enough, they both survived the fall with no more than raising a cloud of dust on impact, although they did pass the chunk of rock on the way down and end up completely buried. A rescue excavation has commenced, and they should be safe shortly. Captain’s Log, stardate 54344.9: Mr. Spock has beamed up to the ship with them to assist Mr. Scott in their installation, as he foresees compatibility problems. Back on the planet’s surface, Mr. Chekov led seven men into the tunnel in an attempt to capture the creature in transit. A loud BEEP, BEEP was heard, and Chekov aimed the phaser rifle and commanded his men to spread out. I wish to state for the record that I would have acted similarly, and that Ensign Chekov should in no way be held responsible for the unfortunate circumstances arising from the unexpected appearance of an old Earth-style freight train. He has been beamed back up to the ship with minor injuries. Captain’s Log, stardate 54345.1: Dr. McCoy has beamed down with a hypo containing a mixture of kyranide, tri-ox compound, Scalosian concentrate, a thereagram derivative, and some other items he found in unmarked containers in Sick bay. By injecting a small amount into each member of the landing party, I hope to be able to deal with the creature at its own high speed terms. Captain’s Log, supplemental: The latest experiment to deal with the strange creature has failed. As Dr. McCoy was injecting a measured does of the compound, it abruptly appeared behind him and uttered a loud BEEP, BEEP! Dr. McCoy, understandable flustered, accidentally pressured in the entire contents of the hypo into his arm. A full security team is in pursuit of him, waiting for the effects of the drug to wear off. Captain’s Log, stardate 54345.2: I have ordered the landing party transported back to the ship. The new dilithium crystals have been successfully installed. On my responsibility, the ship is preparing to engage main phasers to attack the creature, which continues on its semi-erratic course across the planet’s surface. Captain’s Log, supplemental: This is a warning to all other starships that may pass this way. Do not approach this planet! The illogical events occurring here are too much to overcome with simple science. If you have heard the events transcribed in the rest of this log, you will learn that this creature is nearly undefeatable. We channeled full ship’s power through the phaser banks. Theoretically, the creature should have been destroyed; hover, the energies were too much strain for the Acme crystals. The full force of the phasers backlashed over the Enterprise, engulfing her completely. At first, the only noticeable effect was a complete failure of all systems save emergency gravity and life support. Then a web of black lines spread through the Enterprise’s superstructure. Next, the ship began breaking up, piece by piece, falling through the atmosphere to land on the surface of the planet. When the ship had collapsed entirely, my crew was left hanging in space for a short time, and finally each of us began to fall to the planet below. We have no theories on how any of us survived, but every crewmember has reported nothing more than a sense of uneasiness, followed by the realization that they were several hundred miles up in the air, a sinking sensation, and then a gradual drop: first the feet, then the body, and finally the head, usually wearing a resigned expression of perplex. We are attempting now to communicate with the creature in the hopes that it will prove intelligent. Perhaps we can communicate our peaceful intentions to it. Mr. Spock has constructed a crude rocket launcher from the wreckage of the ship, and with this we hope to send the recorder marker up into space, where hopefully someone will find it. Captain James T. Kirk, recording.

Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as “mother”, although she didn’t mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close biological link did not in fact exist. Nor did she intend to denigrate the equal value of nontraditional households, although she was sorry if this was the impression conveyed.

One day her mother asked her to take a basket of organically grown fruit and mineral water to her grandmother’s house.

“But mother, won’t this be stealing work from the unionized people who have struggled for years to earn the right to carry all packages between various people in the woods?”

Red Riding Hood’s mother assured her that she had called the union boss and gotten a special compassionate mission exemption form.

“But mother, aren’t you oppressing me by ordering me to do this?”

Red Riding Hood’s mother pointed out that it was impossible for women to oppress each other, since all women were equally oppressed until all women were free.

“But mother, then shouldn’t you have my brother carry the basket, since he’s an oppressor, and should learn what it’s like to be oppressed?”

Red Riding Hood’s mother explained that her brother was attending a special rally for animal rights, and besides, this wasn’t stereotypical women’s work, but an empowering deed that would help engender a feeling of community.

“But won’t I be oppressing Grandma, by implying that she’s sick and hence unable to independently further her own selfhood?”

But Red Riding Hood’s mother explained that her grandmother wasn’t actually sick or incapacitated or mentally handicapped in any way, although that was not to imply that any of these conditions were inferior to what some people called “health”.

Thus Red Riding Hood felt that she could get behind the idea of delivering the basket to her grandmother, and so she set off.

Many people believed that the forest was a foreboding and dangerous place, but Red Riding Hood knew that this was an irrational fear based on cultural paradigms instilled by a patriarchal society that regarded the natural world as an exploitable resource, and hence believed that natural predators were in fact intolerable competitors.

Other people avoided the woods for fear of thieves and deviants, but Red Riding Hood felt that in a truly classless society all marginalized peoples would be able to “come out” of the woods and be accepted as valid lifestyle role models.

On her way to Grandma’s house, Red Riding Hood passed a woodchopper, and wandered off the path, in order to examine some flowers.

She was startled to find herself standing before a Wolf, who asked her what was in her basket.

Red Riding Hood’s teacher had warned her never to talk to strangers, but she was confident in taking control of her own budding sexuality, and chose to dialogue with the Wolf.

She replied, “I am taking my Grandmother some healthful snacks in a gesture of solidarity.”

The Wolf said, “You know, my dear, it isn’t safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone.”

Red Riding Hood said, “I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop an alternative and yet entirely valid worldview. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I would prefer to be on my way.”

Red Riding Hood returned to the main path, and proceeded towards her Grandmother’s house.

But because his status outside society had freed him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style thought, the Wolf knew of a quicker route to Grandma’s house.

He burst into the house and ate Grandma, a course of action affirmative of his nature as a predator. Then, unhampered by rigid, traditionalist gender role notions, he put on Grandma’s nightclothes, crawled under the bedclothes, and awaited developments.

Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said, “Grandma, I have brought you some cruelty free snacks to salute you in your role of wise and nurturing matriarch.”

The Wolf said softly “Come closer, child, so that I might see you.”

Red Riding Hood said, “Goddess! Grandma, what big eyes you have!”

“You forget that I am optically challenged.”

“And Grandma, what an enormous, what a fine nose you have.”

“Naturally, I could have had it fixed to help my acting career, but I didn’t give in to such societal pressures, my child.”

“And Grandma, what very big, sharp teeth you have!”

The Wolf could not take any more of these specist slurs, and, in a reaction appropriate for his accustomed milieu, he leaped out of bed, grabbed Little Red Riding Hood, and opened his jaws so wide that she could see her poor Grandmother cowering in his belly.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Red Riding Hood bravely shouted.

“You must request my permission before proceeding to a new level of intimacy!”

The Wolf was so startled by this statement that he loosened his grasp on her.

At the same time, the woodchopper burst into the cottage, brandishing an ax.

“Hands off!” cried the woodchopper.

“And what do you think you’re doing?” cried Little Red Riding Hood.

“If I let you help me now, I would be expressing a lack of confidence in my own abilities, which would lead to poor self esteem and lower achievement scores on college entrance exams.”

“Last chance, sister! Get your hands off that endangered species!

This is an FBI sting!” screamed the woodchopper, and when Little Red Riding Hood nonetheless made a sudden motion, he sliced off her head.

“Thank goodness you got here in time,” said the Wolf. “The brat and her grandmother lured me in here. I thought I was a goner.”

“No, I think I’m the real victim, here,” said the woodchopper.
“I’ve been dealing with my anger ever since I saw her picking those protected flowers earlier. And now I’m going to have such a trauma. Do you have any aspirin?”

“Sure,” said the Wolf.

“Thanks.”

“I feel your pain,” said the Wolf, and he patted the woodchopper on his firm, well padded back, gave a little belch, and said “Do you have any Maalox?”

The following man was attempting to make a simple job easier for himself.

I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number 3 of the accident reporting form, I put “trying to do the job alone” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient:

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tight to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note, in block number 11 of the accident reporting form, that I weigh 135 pounds.

Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom broke out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately fifty pounds.

I refer you again to my weight in the accident reporting form, block number 11.
As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounted for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations on my legs and lower body.

The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks, and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six stories above me…I again lost my presence of mind…and let go of the rope!

Granny looked into Ole’s eyes and said, “Because, you dumb ass, your father, grandfather and great grandfather were born in January, you were born in July.

Lil’ Johnny yelled in a panic at the top of his voice, “RUN FOR YOUR LIFE MOM, SHE’S BACKING UP!!!!”

“That’s our house,” Johnny explained. “But this is Grandma’s house, and she knows how to cook!.

Just then his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat as he is walking into the kitchen. Little johnny looks up at his mother and with a smile says, “Are you going to tell him or should I?”

The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, “tragedy.” So the president asks the class for an example of a “tragedy.”

One little boy stands up and offers, “If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy.”

“No” says Bush, “that would be an accident.”

A little girl raises her hand: “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy.”

“I’m afraid not” explains the President. “That’s what we would call a GREAT LOSS.”

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room. “Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally, way in the back of the room, a boy named Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, “If Air Force One, carrying you and Mrs. Bush, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.

“Correct” exclaims Bush, “that’s right. And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” Lil’ Johnny said, “because, like you just told us, it wouldn’t be an accident, and it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss.”

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that “Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls,” and would his mother, “please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.”

“And now, Johnny, please take off my panties.” and when Johnny finishes removing those, she says, “Johnny, PLEASE don’t wear any of my clothes to school any more!”

One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off.

Upon overhearing this comment, the outraged teacher demanded to know who said it. Johnnie instantly rose to his feet and said, “Bill Clinton. I’ll see you Monday.”

The teacher was telling her students in the sex education class about human anatomy. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of the female and said, “the female has two breasts and one vagina.”

My daddy has two of them,” explained Little Johnny. “One that’s about three inches long that he pees with, and another one that’s about eight inches long that he brushes the babysitter’s teeth with!”

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn’t have to go to school the following Monday.

Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says, “Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday!”

Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store.

“He said,” she replied, “that his mother called you ‘A BITCH’!”

Little Johnny groaned and responded , “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny,Pat?”

“From what I just saw, my school days are over!”

The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, “Well, it’s pretty damn hard to wear glasses with no ears!”

When Britney had only a slight showing of her

trailer trash character in this photo she is actually

fairly decent

Here she tries to be the all

american girl—looking trashy

in a good way

Notice the costume dont even fit

the wrinkled neck and enough eye

liner to make a small rat dropping

her trailer trash heritage is trying its

best to show through

Britney being proud of her teeth

an attempt to separate her from her

inner struggle with being trailer trash

Here being trailer trash pays off

A nice slutty look all the guys like

no one is allowed to show their teeth

at this concert because Britney had not

had the chance to get out the dremel and

polish them up in fear of being outdid with whiter

teeth she demanded no one was allowed

to show thier teeth

Another bad fitting costume unable

to hide the developing stomach roll acquired

from her addiction to bacon and yogurt

Britney showing a little tooth now

and being a Billy Idol wanna be

at least the top half of the costume fits

The bottom half must half been made

by the chinese where its a disgarce to show

some camel toe not bad looking

trailer trash here though

Here Britney is trying to find herself

she has been lost so long with this pop star

being forced upon her trailer trash ass

she would look right at home in a

plastic chair in front of a doublewide

a nice scuzzy look

Britney goes to the dentist and the eye

doctor her teeth are now white and

she can look at you with both eyes at the

same time do you notice that she is

beginning to have saggy breast at this stage

in this picture you cant tell that she

is scuzzy trailer trash at first glance

Britney performing at a gay convention

she continues to struggle with her inner self

her poor mentality did not realize at the time

that the girls on stage with her are actually men

later on in the dressing room after a bottle

of tequilia and a couple valiums she didnt care

yep trailer trash all the way

Look carefully you can see the cellulose

developing as seen on the left buttock

also that is a pretty short crack kinda boring

at least the tattoo gives you something to look at

while you are @#*%ing it from behind

Here Britney wears her best Kmart outfit

notice the breasts are down to her elbows

the high hairline even the camerman behind has no

interest definatly trailer trash it is showing

Notice the ill fitting top that was purchased

at target she now has to wear tops to small

to hide the sagging even the men behind

her aren’t paying attention she is flaunting her

teeth at this stage in her career

Here Britney is seen again showing her

teeth as she tries to separate herself from

the trailer trash she is she is still squinting

in an effort to hide the crossed eyes, it is

not known if it is inherited or from having to pick

the scabs from her forehead in the mornings.

Here the cross eye is still noticeable although

the photographer did a fine job hiding it with

her hair also if you notice she is having to hold

her sagging breasts up the little paste on tatoo is there to

hide a ciggarette burn she got while she passed

out a few days prior

Here Britney just left the hair salon—yes

its looks like crap but she still smiles to

show her newly polished teeth notice the

tip of her nose from this angle where the nostil

end and the tip begins

if my calculations are correct and they usually are

that is about the size of a dime

is that how she got the cross eye??

Nope

Perfect all flaws are hidden in this picture.

Here Britney is one nasty looking

slut plain and simple would fit right in

with a plastic chair on the porch at

any trailer park .

Here Britney tries for a new look after

picking scabs from her forehead the night before

the hair is fake looks kinda nasty

would fit right in at the local trailer park .

Here Britney shows her teeth in a fit of anger

after someone stole her back steps to use them

for jack stands.

Here is Britney 40 days after getting her nose

clipped she is at her peak at this moment

shiny teeth eyes are fixed scabs are healed

she has her hair LOOK very closely what

do you see a Trailer Trash maker over thats right.

Here Britney wins an award its obviously

not for the best breasts at this point in here career

they have dropped dramatically she was

holding up the number four to ask how many steps

forward she is to take before making acceptance

speech yes she is that dumb.

This is Britney after a puff daddy concert

she looks like a cheap whore in addition to

trailer trash looking this she would

bring about 85 dollars topson the street corner, she would get

her butt whipped in any respectable trailer park

This is Britney with the nose job teeth fixed

scabs on forehead healed she is wearing the ill

fitting costume to hide the sagging breasts

we are starting to see the accumulation of

the bacon and yogurt in this picture evident by

the 4 inched of fat hanging over bottom half

of the costume .

We love this picture at

trailerparkjokes.com the saggy breasts

the ill shaped butt the dress

from china mind you this can be purchased

at the clothing barn for $5.98

she would not bring 40 bucks on any

respectable street corner at this point

trailer park trash here no doubt .

TRAILER TRASH BRITNEY

She is hiding the scabs forehead in this

picture the breasts are sagging badly

the nose condition has returned

this is 2 different dresses both ugly

and no respectable whore would be

caught wearing either look right below the

breasts and you can see the 2 different styles

This is a true example of her 15 year old mind

nasty looking trailer park trash all

the way in this photo .

Here Britney is happy as can be she is

showing the teeth and has lets the scabs

heal on the forehead slightly pregnant

she decided to give her breasts a boost by

some padding She is doing a good job

of hiding her trailer trash instincts here.

Trailer Trash

At least wear some colored panties if you

are going to be showing that toeless crotch no respectable

whore would be caught with her here notice

her friend isn’t very proud to be seen with her.

Hey trailer trash what are you doing taking the

little boy outside naked so everyone can

take pictures but then again common trailer

trash just dont care so we should expect no less .

You are an idiot trailer trash crack head

just because you lets the scabs heal on

your forehead don,t mean you have to

to cut all your hair you look like a guy

you wouldnt bring 10 bucks on any street

corner fag bar is your only hope

Look like a 40 year old here plain and simple

get off that pipe soon you trailer trash .

This is Britney after someone stole her

plastic chair from her porch .

Oops I done it again!!!!!

Heres is a picture of Britney Spears with a pimp

hat. The reason it don’t go with the rest of her sad

outfit .She had t find something on short notice.

She had spent the night before picking the scabs from

her forehead once again.

Here britney Spears looks totally stupid.This is something

similar to what a drag queen would wear.

Looks Like an overmade whore

She would look decent at this stage if not dressed like

a rich lezzy.

“Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”

The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: “Well, I guess you’ll have to learn to write with your other hand.”

One lad snickered, “Yes, but in those days there were only 13.”

“What is that?” asked the teacher. “The flea,” answered the artist.

“What flea, dear?” asked the puzzled teacher.

“The one the Angel told Joseph to take.”

Eventually, puzzled but not liking to challenge an imaginative child, the teacher checked out her Bible. And there it was : Matthew 2:13 “……the angel of the Lord saying, Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and flee into Egypt………..”

“Oh, I finished the exam in half an hour.” he says, “Now I am rechecking my answers.”

“Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the PRINCIPAL!”

He wrote on the back of the photo the following: “Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money!” and then mailed the picture to her parents.

Now thats a smart kid

‘Oh no, Dad, don’t. I don’t think I’ll be able to sit down for a while.’

“How much for a season pass?”

That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.

“Second,” the professor continued, “You must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this corpse’s anus, but licked my index finger?

When Britney had only a slight showing of her

trailer trash character in this photo she is actually

fairly decent

Here she tries to be the all

american girl—looking trashy

in a good way

Notice the costume dont even fit

the wrinkled neck and enough eye

liner to make a small rat dropping

her trailer trash heritage is trying its

best to show through

Britney being proud of her teeth

an attempt to separate her from her

inner struggle with being trailer trash

Here being trailer trash pays off

A nice slutty look all the guys like

no one is allowed to show their teeth

at this concert because Britney had not

had the chance to get out the dremel and

polish them up in fear of being outdid with whiter

teeth she demanded no one was allowed

to show thier teeth

Another bad fitting costume unable

to hide the developing stomach roll acquired

from her addiction to bacon and yogurt

Britney showing a little tooth now

and being a Billy Idol wanna be

at least the top half of the costume fits

The bottom half must half been made

by the chinese where its a disgarce to show

some camel toe not bad looking

trailer trash here though

Here Britney is trying to find herself

she has been lost so long with this pop star

being forced upon her trailer trash ass

she would look right at home in a

plastic chair in front of a doublewide

a nice scuzzy look

Britney goes to the dentist and the eye

doctor her teeth are now white and

she can look at you with both eyes at the

same time do you notice that she is

beginning to have saggy breast at this stage

in this picture you cant tell that she

is scuzzy trailer trash at first glance

Britney performing at a gay convention

she continues to struggle with her inner self

her poor mentality did not realize at the time

that the girls on stage with her are actually men

later on in the dressing room after a bottle

of tequilia and a couple valiums she didnt care

yep trailer trash all the way

Look carefully you can see the cellulose

developing as seen on the left buttock

also that is a pretty short crack kinda boring

at least the tattoo gives you something to look at

while you are @#*%ing it from behind

Here Britney wears her best Kmart outfit

notice the breasts are down to her elbows

the high hairline even the camerman behind has no

interest definatly trailer trash it is showing

Notice the ill fitting top that was purchased

at target she now has to wear tops to small

to hide the sagging even the men behind

her aren’t paying attention she is flaunting her

teeth at this stage in her career

Here Britney is seen again showing her

teeth as she tries to separate herself from

the trailer trash she is she is still squinting

in an effort to hide the crossed eyes, it is

not known if it is inherited or from having to pick

the scabs from her forehead in the mornings.

Here the cross eye is still noticeable although

the photographer did a fine job hiding it with

her hair also if you notice she is having to hold

her sagging breasts up the little paste on tatoo is there to

hide a ciggarette burn she got while she passed

out a few days prior

Here Britney just left the hair salon—yes

its looks like crap but she still smiles to

show her newly polished teeth notice the

tip of her nose from this angle where the nostil

end and the tip begins

if my calculations are correct and they usually are

that is about the size of a dime

is that how she got the cross eye??

Nope

Perfect all flaws are hidden in this picture.

Here Britney is one nasty looking

slut plain and simple would fit right in

with a plastic chair on the porch at

any trailer park .

Here Britney tries for a new look after

picking scabs from her forehead the night before

the hair is fake looks kinda nasty

would fit right in at the local trailer park .

Here Britney shows her teeth in a fit of anger

after someone stole her back steps to use them

for jack stands.

Here is Britney 40 days after getting her nose

clipped she is at her peak at this moment

shiny teeth eyes are fixed scabs are healed

she has her hair LOOK very closely what

do you see a Trailer Trash maker over thats right.

Here Britney wins an award its obviously

not for the best breasts at this point in here career

they have dropped dramatically she was

holding up the number four to ask how many steps

forward she is to take before making acceptance

speech yes she is that dumb.

This is Britney after a puff daddy concert

she looks like a cheap whore in addition to

trailer trash looking this she would

bring about 85 dollars topson the street corner, she would get

her butt whipped in any respectable trailer park

This is Britney with the nose job teeth fixed

scabs on forehead healed she is wearing the ill

fitting costume to hide the sagging breasts

we are starting to see the accumulation of

the bacon and yogurt in this picture evident by

the 4 inched of fat hanging over bottom half

of the costume .

We love this picture at

trailerparkjokes.com the saggy breasts

the ill shaped butt the dress

from china mind you this can be purchased

at the clothing barn for $5.98

she would not bring 40 bucks on any

respectable street corner at this point

trailer park trash here no doubt .

TRAILER TRASH BRITNEY

She is hiding the scabs forehead in this

picture the breasts are sagging badly

the nose condition has returned

this is 2 different dresses both ugly

and no respectable whore would be

caught wearing either look right below the

breasts and you can see the 2 different styles

This is a true example of her 15 year old mind

nasty looking trailer park trash all

the way in this photo .

Here Britney is happy as can be she is

showing the teeth and has lets the scabs

heal on the forehead slightly pregnant

she decided to give her breasts a boost by

some padding She is doing a good job

of hiding her trailer trash instincts here.

Trailer Trash

At least wear some colored panties if you

are going to be showing that toeless crotch no respectable

whore would be caught with her here notice

her friend isn’t very proud to be seen with her.

Hey trailer trash what are you doing taking the

little boy outside naked so everyone can

take pictures but then again common trailer

trash just dont care so we should expect no less .

You are an idiot trailer trash crack head

just because you lets the scabs heal on

your forehead don,t mean you have to

to cut all your hair you look like a guy

you wouldnt bring 10 bucks on any street

corner fag bar is your only hope

Look like a 40 year old here plain and simple

get off that pipe soon you trailer trash .

This is Britney after someone stole her

plastic chair from her porch .

Oops I done it again!!!

This one has a pet coon somewhere there I am sure–trailer trash

Hey I have an idea let take two ratholes trailers and waste some money

on what could have used on something that dont have axles Trailer Trash.

This is the only guy in
the neighborhood that doesn’t get stole from. Yep trailer trash

Here is another one attempting to wrap a house around the rathole—-if
you have a turd and coat it with chocolate its still a turd—right
people?? Sophicated trailer trash

This next one “leave’s the light on for you” it is for the purpose of
you not being able to see the roaches run when you turn the light on
unlike the competition who does it for courtesy–seriously guys I bet
they are not the most popular motel around–{I wonder how the
bathroom sharing plan works?}The trailer trash motel notice only 2
vehicles one is the owners and he dont have to share a bathroom,

Here is another one showing the love of his trailer after cashing in
the beer cans—Trailer trash loving their trailer.

This is a picture of a bank—O man that’s where i want to keep my
money–As long as the wind stays under 60 it should be safe or if
the local “bubba” don’t drink a twelve pack and decide hook his chevy to
it and haul that baby to the farm.—Where trailer trash bank at.

usual 250 shots of her coming out of the clothing store which tend to

be very boring,nor will you be led around in circles trying to find her pictures.

What you will find are good quality pictures of Paris Hilton Dressed

kinda sexy.We don’t go to the internet to have 80 photos of her buying

perfume. My opinion is that if that interests you then you are a genuine pervert.

Additionally you will not find the usual discriptions that are associated

Enough already go get started.

No beer required here

Ya baby lets look for crickets

Thats Baywatch quality here

Paris Hilton Slutty just the way i like it.

I am not actaully sure if this isnt a fake bit i will still

sausage whip her.

Paris looking like a nice little easter whore.

Teeth are kinda yellow here in this picture of Paris

Hilton,but with what I have in mind for her I wont

looking at them to much.

I would gun em both simple as that

This look don’t do alot for Paris Hilton kinda looks like

trailer trash here

Paris is looking a little to thin here,and is only made worse

with her trying to push her breasts out,

still gunnable though

No flaws here at all with Paris Hilton

If you look you can see she is smoking a joint.You will see after looking

at everything else.

More coming tomorrow guys

The face Looks like a retaded monkey here but

none the less all else is good

Here Paris Hilton looks like a 300 dollar

prostitute–perfect

Paris Hilton is looking nice and tan here but the

look on her face appears as if she just dropped a loaf

Wheres my credit card –O yea

more on the way

When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, “I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!”

So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Henry a little pep talk. “Henry”, he said, “I’m counting on you to do your stuff.” And without a word, Henry then strutted into the hen house.

Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry didn’t stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house where he did the same.

The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, “Stop, Henry, you’ll kill yourself.” But Henry continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.

Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Henry lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Henry.

The farmer walked up to Henry saying, “Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you’ve gone and killed yourself. I warned you big buddy.”

“Shhhhh,” Henry whispered, “The buzzard is getting closer.”

He said to the female whale, “Let’s both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink.” They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.

Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female “lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore.”

At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. “Look,” she said, “I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen!”

The woman on the other end of the phone said, “My wee puppy is together with the dog from next door and I can’t get them apart.”

The vet asked her if she tried throwing a bucket of water on them.
She said “Yes, but it didn’t work.”

He said, “Did you try hitting them with a broom.”
She said, “Yes, but that didn’t work either.”

He then said, “Well Ma’am here’s what you do. Hang up. I’ll call you back. When the phone rings, they will separate.”

She said, “Do you really think that will work?”
He said, “Well it just did for me!”

With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.I’m not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

I tell you, I’m not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!

Last week I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide.” He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, “We want five thousand dollars or you’ll see your kid again.”

I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!

I tell you, with my doctor, I don’t get no respect. I told him, “I’ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.” He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.

With my dog I don’t get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don’t want to go out. He wants me to leave.

What a dog I got. His favorite bone is in my arm!

Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, “Doc, I keep thinking I’m a dog.” He told me to get off his couch.

I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I’ll tell ya, my wife and I, we don’t think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!

One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I’ll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, “Wait til it gets warmer.”

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab.

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, “I’m very sorry. We did everything we could…but he pulled through.”

I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

One year they wanted to make me poster boy… for birth control.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

My uncle’s dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, “Do you think we’ll ever find them?” He said, “I don’t know kid. There are so many places they can hide.”

I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor. They sent a priest up to talk to me. He said, “On your mark…”

When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.

I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax!

I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.

One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.

I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass!

My wife isn’t very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, “Did you see the guy that did it?” She said, “No, but I got the license plate.”

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, “Come on over. There’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

If it weren’t for pick-pocketers, I’d have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That’s when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

I knew a girl so ugly, the last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it.

I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint–a Saint Bernard!

I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “Surprise me.” He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy…why are you doing that for?” He said, “Because you came home early.”

I went to see my doctor… Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah…I told him once, “Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me? He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.”

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown necktie.

My psychiatrist told me I’m going crazy. I told him, “If you don’t mind, I’d like a second opinion.” He said, “All right. You’re ugly too!”

I was so ugly, my mother used to feed me with a slingshot!

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, “Look, twins!”

And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn’t born a boy, I’d have nothing to play with!

I’m not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

I tell you, I’m not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!

Last week I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide.” He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, “We want five thousand dollars or you’ll see your kid again.”

I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!

I tell you, with my doctor, I don’t get no respect. I told him, “I’ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.” He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.

With my dog I don’t get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don’t want to go out. He wants me to leave.

What a dog I got. His favorite bone is in my arm!

Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, “Doc, I keep thinking I’m a dog.” He told me to get off his couch.

I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I’ll tell ya, my wife and I, we don’t think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!

One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I’ll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, “Wait til it gets warmer.”

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab.

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, “I’m very sorry. We did everything we could…but he pulled through.”

I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

One year they wanted to make me poster boy… for birth control.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

My uncle’s dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, “Do you think we’ll ever find them?” He said, “I don’t know kid. There are so many places they can hide.”

I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor. They sent a priest up to talk to me. He said, “On your mark…”

When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.

I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax!

I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.

One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.

I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass!

My wife isn’t very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, “Did you see the guy that did it?” She said, “No, but I got the license plate.”

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, “Come on over. There’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

If it weren’t for pick-pocketers, I’d have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That’s when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

I knew a girl so ugly, the last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it.

I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint–a Saint Bernard!

I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “Surprise me.” He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy…why are you doing that for?” He said, “Because you came home early.”

I went to see my doctor… Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah…I told him once, “Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me? He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.”

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown necktie.

My psychiatrist told me I’m going crazy. I told him, “If you don’t mind, I’d like a second opinion.” He said, “All right. You’re ugly too!”

I was so ugly, my mother used to feed me with a slingshot!

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, “Look, twins!”

And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn’t born a boy, I’d have nothing to play with!

I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what’s moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who probably read the news themselves.
– Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003 

It was amazing I won. I was running against peace and prosperity and incumbency. 
– June 14, 2001

You know I could run for governor, but I’m basically a media creation. I’ve never done anything. I’ve worked for my dad. I worked in the oil business. But that’s not the kind of profile you have to have to get elected to public office. 
– Dubya in 1989

Sitting down and reading a 500-page book on public policy or philosophy or something. 
– Bush’s answer when asked to name something he’s not good at.  Talk Magazine, Sep. 1999

I don’t make any apologies for what I do on the campaign trail. 
– Comment made when asked about his campaign visit to Bob Jones University. New York Times, Feb. 
24, 2000

As I understand it, the current FBI form asks the question, ‘Did somebody use drugs within the last 7 years?’ and I will be glad to answer that question, and the answer is no. 
– Putting down rumors of past illicit drug use… sort of.  Time Magazine, Aug. 18, 2000

Listen, I’m just as shocked as you are that I’m sitting here talking about the presidency — it’s never been a part of my — my life’s ambition hasn’t always been to be the president. 
– Apr. 27, 2000

In 1994, there were 67 schools in Texas that were rated “exemplorary” according to our own tests. 
– Manhattan Institute for Policy Research (New York), Oct. 5, 1999

Well, first of all, I knew our troops were good because I’ve been reading reports about how good they are.
– Commander-in-Chief making a really hands-on assessment of his soldiers on tour of Ft. Bragg. Mar. 15, 2002

I do remain confident in Linda. She’ll make a fine labor secretary. From what I’ve read in the press accounts, she’s perfectly qualified.
– Austin, Texas, Jan. 8, 2001

I had no idea we had so many weapons. What do we need them for? 
– Demonstrating grasp of America’s nuclear weapons system. May, 2001

There are a couple of cows waiting for me. You know, when I first got back from Washington, it seemed like the cows were talking back. But now that I’ve spent some time in Crawford, they’re just cows. 
– Revealing disturbing facts about his brain chemistry. Town Hall Forum on Economy, Ontario, California, Jan. 5, 2002

I can assure you, when I was a senior in high school, I never sat in an audience saying, gosh, if I work hard I’ll be President of the United States. 
– I guess you don’t need the hard work if your last name is Bush. Crawford High School, Crawford, Texas, Nov. 15, 2001

The woman who knew that I had dyslexia—I never interviewed her.
– Orange, Calif., Sept. 15, 2000

I’m not going to play like I’ve been a person who’s spent hours involved with foreign policy. I am who I am. 
– Interview with Jim Lehrer, News Hour with Jim Lehrer, Apr. 27, 2000

If this were a dictatorship, it’d be a heck of a lot easier…just as long as I’m the dictator. 
– During his first trip to Washington as President-Elect, Washington, DC, Dec 18, 2000

There’s no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead. 
– Washington, D.C., May 11, 2001

I’m going to be a president who hails success as well as failure. 
– March, 2000

Sometimes when I sleep at night I think of “Hop on Pop.” 
– Pennsylvania State University, Apr. 2, 2002

I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can’t answer your question.
– In response to a question about whether he wished he could take back any of his answers in the first debate. Reynoldsburg, Ohio, Oct. 4, 2000

Then I went for a run with the other dog and just walked. And I started thinking about a lot of things. I was able to—I can’t remember what it was. Oh, the inaugural speech. Started thinking through that.
– Pre-inaugural interview with U.S. News & World Report, Jan. 22, 2001 issue

I suspect that had my dad not been president, he’d be asking the same questions: How’d your meeting go with so-and-so? … How did you feel when you stood up in front of the people for the State of the Union Address—state of the budget address, whatever you call it.
– Interview with the Washington Post, March 9, 2001

FINK: When you’re talking about politics, what do you and [your father] talk about? 
DUBYA: Pussy. 
– Interview with David Fink of the Hartford Courant at the Republican Convention, 1988

Those of us who spent time in the agricultural sector, and in the heartland, we understand how unfair the death penalty is … er … the death tax is. 
– Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 28, 2001

I don’t know whether I’m going to win or not.  I think I am.  I do know I’m ready for the job.  And, if not, that’s just the way it goes.
– Des Moines, Iowa, Aug. 21, 2000

When we played hide and seek I spotted her behind the Himalayas

When she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

When she comes inside your house the tires pop

On Thanksgiving day she ate dinner for 6 hours and then said, “I am going to walk this meal off.” I said, “Call me when you get to Brazil.”

I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand

She wears a hat with a blinking red light to scare off airplanes

She can’t reach her back pocket

The National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts

When she has sex, she has to give directions

She stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles

When she went to the beach, whales came up and sang “We Are Family”

She influences the tides

She wakes up in sections

They threw puffed rice at her wedding

She’s on both sides of the family

It took me two hours to download her picture off the ‘net

She gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it’s-coming-towards-us

When you get on top of her your ears pop

The only thing attracted to her is gravity

When she dances she makes the band skip

Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard

When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton

When she crosses the street, cars look out for her

After she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party

Her beeper went off and people thought she was backing up

She can’t stand on a basketball court for 3 seconds without getting called for a key violation

She was baptized in tartar sauce

When you hang up her picture the whole wall comes down

When she was a kid she could only play seek

When she runs, car alarms go off

It took five UFOs to abduct her

When I ask for Kool-Aid, she runs through the wall

She went swimming in the ocean and the Spanish claimed her as a new continent

She has to wear a sock on each toe

The police showed her a picture of her feet and she could not identify them

She broke the family tree

You have to grease the door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through

She’s got shock absorbers on her toilet seat

The only pictures they have of her are via satellite

She makes Free Willy look like a Tic Tac

When she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live

She went to a liquor store and bought a 40 oz. of gravy

Instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load

I shot the bitch and Crisco came out

She eats pumpkin pies like Skittles

She sat in BigFoot and made it a lowrider

When I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in

When she wears corduroy pants the ridges flatten out

They had to change “One size fits all” to “One size fits everybody but yo mama”

She uses bowling balls for earrings

When I swerved to avoid hitting her on the road, I ran out of gas

She stepped on my cat’s tail and now I call him “Beaver”

She tried to get a tan and the sun burned out

All her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor

She fell off a boat and the captain yelled “Land ho!”

You can pinch an inch on her forehead

She gets her toenails painted at Earl Schieb’s

Every time she eats at McDonald’s, they have to go outside and double the number on the sign

Her ass has its own congressman

All the restaurants in town have signs that say: “Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama”

When she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down

She bungee jumped and brought down the bridge

She bungee jumped and went straight to hell

She has to put her belt on with a boomerang

She installed chairs in the refrigerator

When your family brings home groceries they need to hire a rodeo clown to distract her

She wore a Malcolm X shirt and helicopters tried to land on her

She fell over and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up

The last time she saw 90210 was on a scale

She has to wear Levi 1002s

She couldn’t star in Forrest Gump because she kept eating the box of chocolates

She auditioned for Indiana Jones and got the part of the big rolling ball

She would have been in E.T., but when she rode that bike across the moon the bitch caused an eclipse

Her blood type is Ragu

Her nickname is “DAMN”

She stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the f*** off

She filled up the tub then turned the water on

When we played hide and seek I spotted her behind the Himalayas

When she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

When she comes inside your house the tires pop

On Thanksgiving day she ate dinner for 6 hours and then said, “I am going to walk this meal off.” I said, “Call me when you get to Brazil.”

I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand

She wears a hat with a blinking red light to scare off airplanes

She can’t reach her back pocket

The National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts

When she has sex, she has to give directions

She stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles

When she went to the beach, whales came up and sang “We Are Family”

She influences the tides

She wakes up in sections

They threw puffed rice at her wedding

She’s on both sides of the family

It took me two hours to download her picture off the ‘net

She gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it’s-coming-towards-us

When you get on top of her your ears pop

The only thing attracted to her is gravity

When she dances she makes the band skip

Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard

When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton

When she crosses the street, cars look out for her

After she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party

Her beeper went off and people thought she was backing up

She can’t stand on a basketball court for 3 seconds without getting called for a key violation

She was baptized in tartar sauce

When you hang up her picture the whole wall comes down

When she was a kid she could only play seek

When she runs, car alarms go off

It took five UFOs to abduct her

When I ask for Kool-Aid, she runs through the wall

She went swimming in the ocean and the Spanish claimed her as a new continent

She has to wear a sock on each toe

The police showed her a picture of her feet and she could not identify them

She broke the family tree

You have to grease the door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through

She’s got shock absorbers on her toilet seat

The only pictures they have of her are via satellite

She makes Free Willy look like a Tic Tac

When she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live

She went to a liquor store and bought a 40 oz. of gravy

Instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load

I shot the bitch and Crisco came out

She eats pumpkin pies like Skittles

She sat in BigFoot and made it a lowrider

When I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in

When she wears corduroy pants the ridges flatten out

They had to change “One size fits all” to “One size fits everybody but yo mama”

She uses bowling balls for earrings

When I swerved to avoid hitting her on the road, I ran out of gas

She stepped on my cat’s tail and now I call him “Beaver”

She tried to get a tan and the sun burned out

All her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor

She fell off a boat and the captain yelled “Land ho!”

You can pinch an inch on her forehead

She gets her toenails painted at Earl Schieb’s

Every time she eats at McDonald’s, they have to go outside and double the number on the sign

Her ass has its own congressman

All the restaurants in town have signs that say: “Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama”

When she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down

She bungee jumped and brought down the bridge

She bungee jumped and went straight to hell

She has to put her belt on with a boomerang

She installed chairs in the refrigerator

When your family brings home groceries they need to hire a rodeo clown to distract her

She wore a Malcolm X shirt and helicopters tried to land on her

She fell over and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up

The last time she saw 90210 was on a scale

She has to wear Levi 1002s

She couldn’t star in Forrest Gump because she kept eating the box of chocolates

She auditioned for Indiana Jones and got the part of the big rolling ball

She would have been in E.T., but when she rode that bike across the moon the bitch caused an eclipse

Her blood type is Ragu

Her nickname is “DAMN”

She stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the f*** off

A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen.

The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators.

The CEO says to his executives “I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!”
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes.

The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, “You are amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you

The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!

Bill Gates walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $7,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan.

So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $7,000 and the interest, which comes to $19.67. The loan officer says, “We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little confused. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What confuses us is why would you bother to borrow $7,000?“

The businessman replied, “Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $20 bucks?”

Meanwhile, the first guy has made it back up to the bar. When he sits down to order his drinks, the bartender says “Superman, you can be a real ——- when you’re drunk!”

This little boy was picking up the crumbs

that the friendly people of the city threw out

to feed the birds.As you can see he is of

a foriegn national and was not prepeared

for the attack of the pigeons.They moved here

and took up residence at a local trailer park.

The child from boredom with disassociation

to began to play with the hoodlem trailerpark kids

during his exposure he began to pick up bad habits.

The boys mother short of cash soon became the

local local trailer park crack queen. She could no

longer afford groceries and the boy soon beagn

to eat what he could. Through his conditioning from

exposure to the local hoodlems he began to steal. The

mother of the boy was not able to teach the boy right

from wrong due to her crack addiction,and her time being

occupied exchanging the use of her body cavities for

crack. The boy began to adventure away from the trailer

park. Two days prior to this incident the boy had started

going to the park as the birds would fly away from his

approaching he learned it was an easy steal to get thier

bread crumbs. The local city park provides a place to purchase

little bags of bread crumbs. An elderly lady had just

made such a purchase and was going to feed the birds at the

usual area. The little trailer park hoodlem saw this as an

oppertunity to do a snatch and run as seen by the little

bag of crumbs in his left hand. While the little hoodlem

was making his run back to the trailer park the birds attacked

in a most unorthadox manner. This picture was taken while

the fourth bird was pushing its fecal matter onto the little perpitrator

he was attacked by approximately 40 birds total before he got away.

And luck has it this was the last picture left on the roll.

The boy managed to make it back to the trailer park shortly

after. The kid was screaming all the way home.Upon his arrival

he finds the door locked due to his mother getting her fix

a few units down. When you think things could not get worse

a pack of 10 to 12 pigeons come and start bombing him. He finally

takes refuge under an old Chevy. The birds then leave and all is

calm. The boys mother finally finishes her services and returns

home. All is well.  –Except—— the folowing morning

The boy goes out to play with his hoodlem friends and is

greeted by about 15 pigeons–and that my friends is what

 we call DE-JA-VOO -DOO

They obviously didn’t save money with Geiko.

I find this very disturbing.The work and exspense here to

constuct such an elaborate array of trailers,with the hoisting

and the beam work involved.I dont see a single air unit

for comfort or any means to protect the pipes from feezing

{we find out why}

I hate to see what the furniture looks like. This is just

retarded for the exspense to constuct all these ratholes

in this fashion is enough to build a 2000 square

foot home complete with a garage and a walk out

basement. This is retarded Trailer Trash at its best.

The bottom unit is the Kings unit so to speak,The other

family members are only allowed in on special occasions

like with the adoption of a new hunting dog or the similair.

The unit on the upper left is the wife’s{sisters} dwelling.

The ladder is there to see if the retarded boys can get

the windmill on the pallet to spin so they can pump water

to the other units,for one of the sisters has been

complaining that she is tired of having to carry water up to

the others.The father agreed. Although he did say it wont

catch any wind with all those trees back there.He continued on to

say he had doubt that any of the children are actually his.The

wife {sister} overheard this and came storming out to defend herself.

A large fight took place where thier father had to intervene.

During this time some of the children were looking out of thier

dwellings yelling let them fight it out Grandpa.The remaing

Children were yelling Dad –Dad let then fight it out

{One thing for sure the family likes to see a fight}

All of this noise woke the oldest boy who went down to

seperate the two.He stated no one beats on his sister.I decided to make

a personal observation by looking at the children to see who they

looked like.I glance at each accordingly to make a mental note.

Result.

They all look alike but only differ in age.

Totally remarkable.

The sister went on to say the the problem with hauling water up

to the other dwellings has become more frequent,that she did not

mind doing it twice a year like she had done in the past

She went on to say that ever since she had agreed to scrub the boys backs

for them that they want to take a bath ereryday now.She went

on to accuse the little one of tearing up the windmill

on purpose.I asked if i could get a tour of the inside of the

dwellings.I was declined to have an oppertunity to have a tour

based on security reasons.I assured them I would not take anything.

I was told that was not the concern.I was told that the bird dogs

inside dont take very well to anyone without red hair.Upon leaving

I was told I would be given the oppurtunity for a tour next week.

Two of the boys would take the dogs hunting.I agreed and will return

to take a tour of these fine units,so stay tuned.

 Here are a few to keep your mind in the gutter

 Have you looked through her briefs?
He is one hard judge!
Counselor, let’s do it in chambers.
His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
Is it a penal offense?
Better leave the handcuffs on.
For $200 an hour, she better be good!
Can you get him to drop his suit?
The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
Think you can get me off?

“Lord, that’s the most direct proposition I’ve ever had!” gasped the girl. Then she looked around the room, smiled and added, “Sure, why not? You’re nice lookin’ too and it’s pretty slow here right now, so why don’t we just slip away up to my room?”

When the pair returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same table and the waitress asked, “Will there be anything else, sir?”

“Why yes,” replied the southern gentleman. “Ah sure ‘preciate what y’all just did for me; it was real sweet and right neighbourly, but where ah come from in Albama, we lack our bourbon real cold, so ah still need to trouble y’all for a piece uh ass for mah drink.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don’t have eyes

Why is air a lot like sex?
It’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts

What’s the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?
A Northern fairy tale begins, “Once upon a time…”
A Southern fairytale begins, “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit…”

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What’s the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
Male fraud

What is the one thing that unites all Americans, regardless of gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background?
Deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers

Light travels faster than sound
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
One of his fingers is clean

What’s the new and politically correct name for Lesbian?
Vagitarian

What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
Klondike

What do you call a pimp who doesn’t like blow jobs?
A headless whoresman

What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
Brothel sprouts

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?”
The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
Both crews were marooned

Did you hear about the new “Divorce Barbie”?
It comes with all of Ken’s stuff

“Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pack of cards!”
“Sit down and I’ll deal with you later.”

“Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a bridge!”
“What’s come over you?”

“Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!”
“Pull yourself together!”

Why did Santa’s little helper feel depressed?
He had low elf esteem

What’s considered bi-sexual in Alabama?
Someone who likes sheep and goats

How do you piss off a female archeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it came from

Did you hear that the governor’s mansion in Montgomery, Alabama burned down?
Yep. Pert’ near took out the whole trailer park.

A: The bucket.

“That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?”

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.”

“Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?”

Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.”

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy’s house and rang the bell. Billy’s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

Billy’s father said, “I’m actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?”

So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said “No,” he told her that it was probably a good thing because he had a case early in the morning.
She said, “Oh!!!! Your a lawyer?”
He said, “Why,… Yes I am!”

So they went to his place and when they were in bed, screwing, he started to laugh to himself. When she asked what was so funny, he answered,
“Well, I’ve only been a lawyer for 15 minutes, and I’m already screwing someone!”

The only other thing on the island was the tall coconut tree, that provided them their food. Each day, one of the lawyers climbed to the top of the tree, to see if he could see a rescue boat coming.

One day, the lawyer yelled down from the tree, “Wow! I can’t believe my eyes! I don’t believe this is true!” The lawyer on the ground was skeptical and said, “I think you’re hallucinating and you should come down right now.”

So, the lawyer reluctantly climbed down the tree and told his friend that he had just seen a naked blonde woman floating face up headed toward their island.

The other lawyer started to laugh, thinking his friend had surely lost his mind. But, within a few minutes, up to the beach floated a naked blonde woman, face up, totally unconscious.

The two lawyers went over to her and one said to the other, “You know, we’ve been on this island for months now without a woman. It’s been a long time…do you think we should….you know….. screw her?”

The other lawyer glanced down at the totally naked woman and asked…

“Out of what?”